Strangely, the star everyone loves to hate, I just love to love. Now I recognize that most of what comes out of her mouth is ridiculous and sure that’s annoying and would be a little obnoxious if the food she was talking about wasn’t so damn good. Gwyneth is a big believer of the Elimination Diet which is basically just a clean, no processed foods, whole-food approach. Her website Goop (dumb name) and her cookbooks focus a lot on finding ways to make food restrictions more tasty. And guess what? She succeeds…because she’s bougie enough to not give a crap about pumping a bunch of money into making brownies without sugar taste legit or the precise spice chemistry to make stir-fry with basically nothing appetizing in it at alllll taste like take-out. Gwyneth is passionate about food in the same way all of y’all are who post your meals on Instagram, the only difference is she is rich and famous so instead of throwing a filter on lunch she hires people to help create, blog about and write a cookbook for it. Cut a bitch some slack.
Now these assertions do not come without experience. I have done the cleanse she writes about on Goop twice (I feel obnoxious just typing that but I was curious!) and renewed It’s All Good: Delicious, Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look Good and Feel Great three times before returning it to the library. Honestly, I think the absurdity of Gwyneth’s recipe-prose and the absolute un-relatability of her recommendations increased the appeal for me. Give me a dash of celebrity humor with a bangin’ smoothie recipe any day. Entice me to try cooking something so insane that I have to text someone about it when it turns out delicious–and I’m yours for life. Obviously I’m not going to take daily saunas or catch wild game hens but I do love fresh, whole, clean ingredients. I’m not really worried about cleansing my internal organs of toxins but it WAS kind of cool to feel miserable for a couple of days and then start feeling more energetic followed by amazing, followed by I could eat like this forever!!!, followed by haha jk no I can’t but I might do that again someday. “It’s All Good” has vegan and paleo recipes and even a whole section of recipes geared towards children (aka me). While there are also quite a few recipes that just didn’t look cost effective or seemed too time intensive for my purposes; all the easier, cheaper recipes I made were awesome.
Basically, I just think everything Gwyneth says is hilarious and I hope she’s not being serious when she says things but I also know she is. You shouldn’t write off her recipes just because she’s unnecessarily verbose about mundane ingredients–you should think of this as her version of pulling out her iPhone to snap an insta. If you’re eating clean, vegan or paleo give her cookbook a go. It’s not gonna hurt anything to check that shit out from the library. It’s not like you’re paying for a ticket to one of her movies. Because that…I couldn’t endorse.
“We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art and literature—all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you’re wearing?’ and I thought, I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe.” <—lol whuuuut? Me too, girl, me too.
(photo from the cookbook mentioned above and via here. 3 recipes from the book are also available via this link. : )