Category Archives: Brainpower

In need of a pep talk?

October 29, 2015Brainpoweraffirmations, Babe Vibes, positivity, uplifting website, when you're having a bad day, words of wisdomBeth Berger

The ladies at Babe Vibes have got you covered. Designed by Kara Haupt and developed by Paige Lewis, The Pep Talk Generator is a completely genius project of encouragement. I recommend you go ahead and bookmark this page right now! I’ll wait.

Wouldn’t you love to visit the site when you’re feeling lonely or a project seems too big to finish or a down-in-the-dumps black cloud is hovering right over top of your head? What sort of uplifting words could the generator have in store for you? Perhaps this…

“From one grown woman to another, in the face of a challenge you can either break down or break open. When we allow ourselves to break open and let ourselves be immersed by our emotions, we can truly be honest with ourselves and evolve in the most positive and healthiest way. One of the nice things about growing up is being able to say no, to change your mind, and to become brave enough to show who you are even if it hurts. The self-awareness and self-love you grant yourself can be your saving grace; they might help you reacquaint yourself with the courage you forgot you had all along.” –Shaya Ishaq

❤ or ❤

“Wow, you are gorgeous! You are powerful. No one else can do what you do. You don’t need approval from those around you to know how irreplaceable you are — you just need yourself. Today, remind yourself that you can do anything… because you can.” –Lyndsay Wright

❤ or ❤

“You know what, babe? Sometimes, life gets really weird. You think you have your shit on lock and you’re cruising to your own song but then the song changes and you’re left trying to take steps in the dark. This will happen to you at the worst of times and you’ll grapple with what you want and maybe even who you are! And babe, that’s okay. The movement will shift you into a better position to become the self you seek to be. Just remember to be patient and hold on to the best parts, surround yourself in good things and let the song change. Maybe it was just time for a new tune.” –Kelsie McNair

…is just what you need to hear. And the best part, in my opinion, is that each quote is attributed to a lovely lady with a link to her ~website or blog or instagram or twitter~ so you can put a face and a personality to their sweet words. They’re just regular people who’ve no doubt been through some shit too or have had equally tough moments to the one you can’t seem to shake.

Maybe this site seems a bit fortune cookie-ish and sappy to some of you out there. But if not, I think it’s a great opportunity for you to incorporate a little bit of self-love and affirmations into your every day routine. Even when you’re not necessarily feeling all doom and gloom. Check the site, reflect on whatever words appear, and think about ways to use or grow from them. 5 minutes. That’s all it takes. And really, who couldn’t use a daily pep talk?!

P.S. My pep talk to YOU — I think you’re pretty neat. I think you’re extremely creative. Things might seem like they’re falling apart all around you right now but isn’t that a wonderful opportunity to build something even better and stronger? Today you chose to get out of bed and live in this world and that was extremely brave. Visit the mirror like you’re visiting an old friend. Make a goofy face, sing Beyonce lyrics, whisper your love through truths and inside jokes. Keep creating. The end product may not be entirely what you had in mind but the process behind the result means you MADE something today and that’s more than most can say. In fact, you’re the only person living and breathing in this very moment to have made what you made. Listen for inspiration in the voices of those around you. And when you can’t quite hear it? Read your own words aloud. I am so proud of you.

If you could give a pep talk to someone struggling today, what would you say?

In the words of Ms. Hepburn…

October 27, 2015Books, Brainpowerautobiography, book recommendation, HBIC, Katharine Hepburn, old HollywoodBeth Berger

I recently finished reading Me: Stories of My Life by Katharine Hepburn, a unique autobiography complete with tell-all history and distinguishable voice. Hepburn shares her life story in quick bursts of remembrance, beginning with her childhood in Hartford. She then recounts her college years and theater beginnings followed by the early Hollywood screen tests which would catapult her to film fame and then legacy. All the while, she shares details about her famous relationships with men, including her 27 year affair with Spencer Tracy.

If you’re a fan of her films, I recommend giving this autobiography a read. The book revisits nearly every movie she was in, from casting to premiere, and the inside peek at the woman behind the talent makes watching them again all the more enjoyable. She was a fascinating firecracker. Here are a few of her insights in her own words…

On her mother – “the greatest gift she gave us was freedom to be noisy, to yell. No nags. Do it? Yes, do it! And tell me about it.”

On young love – “I took one look at him and I was stricken with whatever it is that strickens one at once and for no reason when one looks at a member of the opposite sex.”

On looking at reviews – “I never look at notices. So they don’t exist. Or at movies that I have made. They don’t exist. My past sins, so to speak.”

On helping others – “If you are going to help anybody who is in trouble, this is not a two-hour-a-day job. It is a twenty-four-hour-a-day job. You won’t do anything else if you decide that you are going to resurrect and rearrange a human being.”

On the power of thought – “You’ve got to dream up everything. I believe in miracles. I believe that here we are and we can be in severe physical trouble. But if our spirits aren’t in severe physical trouble, then we can rise up out of it. That’s what we’ve got that the animals really haven’t got.”

On being wrong – “He was not afraid to be wrong. That is a terrible disease.”

On growing old – “Heard a funny thing the other day. Someone asked someone who was about my age: “How are you?”

Answer: “Fine. If you don’t ask for the details.”

That’s about it. Isn’t it?”

On the meaning of love – “LOVE has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and you cannot help giving.”

On Spencer’s acting – “Who was he? I never really knew. He had locked the door to the inside room…I only suspected that inside that room was a powerful engine which ran twenty-four hours a day at full speed. It turned out some remarkable people–yes–all those different people.”

On Spencer’s death – “He looked so happy to be done with living, which for all his accomplishments had been a frightful burden to him. So quiet. He who had turned and turned in that bed. No one able to help him really. One builds one’s own jail.”

As soon as I finished the book, I consulted my friend (and resident Hepburn expert), Ben, on what movies I should watch now that I’m a full-fledged fan! I’ve watched a few Katharine movies with Ben over the years; A Bill of Divorcement, Bringing Up Baby, Stage Door–but the book really made me want to watch more! He suggested The Lion in Winter, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (Spencer Tracy’s last film), The Glass Menagerie, and The Philadelphia Story. Looks like I’ll be busy!!!

P.S. Now I’m reading Tina Fey’s Bossypants and it’s so interesting to see how things have changed (and HAVEN’T) for women in the entertainment industry. The overwhelming similarity between the two women?

They refuse to be someone they’re not simply because there are men in the room.

Are you a Katharine Hepburn fan? What’s your favorite of her films? Have you read her autobiography? Would you? I think you’d be surprised how much you can hear her throughout the book.

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I stopped paying women compliments on their appearance and here’s what happened.

October 6, 2015Brainpower, Every day lifeappearance, brains, compliment ban, compliments, conversations with girls, female communication, how to talk to women, life experiments, Lisa Bloom, mindfulness, self worthBeth Berger

A few years ago, much like the rest of everyone ever on the Internet, I fell in love with this Huffington Post piece by Lisa Bloom, “How to Talk to Little Girls”. In it, Bloom recounts a recent interaction she had with a little girl named Maya in which she engaged the five-year-old about books instead of outfits. Arguing for readers to ask girls about their minds rather than comment on their appearance, she made a compelling case. Here’s an excerpt…

“Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What’s missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.”

Hollering, “PREACH Lisa, preach!!!” the whole way, I ran to my nearest public library and plowed through Bloom’s book Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World. I was armed with all sorts of advice about using my mind for the betterment of the future. I devoured Bloom’s analysis and added all her favorite books to my reading list. But it was her initial advice about talking to girls that really impacted me. At this point in my life, I had recently made the career switch from a job that required constant brain-power and creativity and problem solving to one in retail, which…well, didn’t. However, I WAS constantly interacting with customers, meeting new people, and engaging with employees. I thought, what a perfect opportunity to challenge myself based on Bloom’s advice! But limiting her “conversation how-to” JUST to little girls didn’t seem like enough of a challenge. So I decided to go ALL in. I vowed that for the foreseeable future all small-talk with females, ANY females, would center around subjects OTHER than appearance; meaning no compliments or comments on their clothes, hair, face, body, shoes, makeup or anything I deemed appearance-oriented.

Here’s what happened…

Introverts beware! The biggest initial hurdle, you may have guessed by now, was finding things to talk about. I’m not the most outgoing person in the world, especially with strangers, so cutting out an easy conversation starter forced me to be a bit braver than normal and get creative. With little ones it was easy to ask things like, “Did you do anything fun in school today?” or “What’s that book about?” Real adult LADIES were another story. More often than not, if I was meeting them for the first time, I would panic and end up saying nothing at all. With acquaintances and friends I tried to lead by example. I would talk about books I was reading or local events I wanted to check out in the hopes they’d follow suit. Sometimes this tactic worked and sometimes it didn’t. When it didn’t, I ended up talking about myself a bit more than I was comfortable with. One sided convos about ME weren’t helping ANYONE…so I had to go back to the drawing board again and again to figure out new ways of talking to other women-folk.

Little girls LOVE a conversation outlet. So, it wasn’t just MY end of the conversation that proved especially easy with the young’uns…they were super about their side of things too! I quickly remembered how awesome I felt as a little kid when older people would REALLY talk to me. Giving others that feeling and opportunity was such an easy way to brighten even my most shitty days. Little girls will happily tell you about who they sat with at lunch, their favorite field trip, a ballet recital, the name of the horse they rode last week, a multitude of reasons why they hate broccoli, classroom pets like hamsters and snakes, why their baby brother is shy, what their imaginary friend is up to at this VERY moment, that they’ve already read THIS BOOK five times but they just love it so much they’re reading it again…and on and on and on. Parents were usually happy for the break or happy to join in. Little girls are awesome and they have a LOT to say. Even those little loves who were too shy to jump into conversation with me were easy to compliment on things other than appearance. Not ONCE did a parent have to chime in and thank me for a compliment that their kid had ignored. I find they often do when you tell a little girl something like, “Nice hair bow!”

Are compliments currency? Never have I found receiving a compliment so daunting as I did when I wasn’t paying them. Notice this turn of phrase. We call it “paying” someone a compliment. As I mentioned before, around the time I decided to go on a compliment fast, I was in a new job. New co-workers would serve up a “I love your shoes!” or “Your hair is so nice!” or “Those glasses are awesome!” and I would fill up with dread. How do I RECEIVE a compliment on my appearance if I can’t PAY one in return? Never too great at taking compliments in stride in the first place, I became even worse. I got caught up in the reciprocation aspect, or lack there of. Which is why I move that we give compliments instead of pay them! No matter what kind of compliment they are. Hand them out and expect nothing in return. And don’t worry about paying anyone back when you’re given one either! This was a hard lesson to learn but one I’m grateful for–ain’t nobody got time for calculating compliment exchange rates.

Female acquaintances vs. Female friends Because I was actively avoiding superficial conversations it was easy to steer clear of superficial friendships. I quickly developed camaraderie’s with ladies who shared similar interests to me…even if that was just talking shit about annoying co-workers or Netflix binges. If the conversation flowed easily without talk of appearance, she would move from acquaintance to friend. If it didn’t, I would still enjoy some small talk here and there but that was enough. I didn’t try and push anything. It became much easier than ever before to tell the difference. Initially, I felt terrible for making this distinction with one particular female acquaintance. She constantly complimented me, we had similar backgrounds and current positions, and everyone around me just LOVED HER. But something didn’t click when we talked to each other. I think if I had tried each day to offer her mindless compliments, I wouldn’t have been able to admit that it was better for us to remain acquaintances than forced friends.

In which I give myself a caveat. Pretty early on in the challenge I decided to give ladies of a certain age (Think: Grandmas) a pass and lift my compliment fast for a few moments just for them. This gave me the opportunity to offer really genuine, thought-out praise. I think because the compliments felt so real to me, they felt that real to those I was complimenting too. I can only describe their responses as delighted. Reserving these little moments of appreciation for a beautifully tailored suit or a colorful brooch or a gorgeous pair of soft leather gloves was definitely worth their surprised and humbled replies. Usually their thanks was coupled with a beautiful (and sometimes beautifully sad) story, circling back to the type of conversation I was after in the first place.

So, you may be wondering, where do I stand on all of this now? In the end, I lifted my ban on complimenting women’s appearance. As long as they’re adults I figure it’s fair game, and even then I sometimes slip and tell a kid I like her shoes. Mostly the challenge taught me to be mindful with my compliments and not to toss them around as a conversation crutch. Girls don’t need to evaluate their self-worth based on looks just because I can’t think of anything clever to say. I also learned that for some of my sisters out there compliments are an important part of female communication. Choosing not to engage with them on that level can be damaging. The last thing I want is to shut out a fellow lady-friend! I realize now that some of the compliments I give (and some that I receive, too) are rocking this as their subtext…

Subtext: I know there’s more to what makes you awesome than your ability to select and wear that t-shirt but I haven’t quite put my finger on what it is so for now I’m gonna tell you “your shirt is soooo cute!” and maybe, through that banal quip, the lines of communication between us will open just a wee bit more and I’ll get to the bottom of why you’re so darn cool and I can compliment your mind and your heart and your soul without feeling shy and embarrassed and weird.”

…and that’s ok. Sometimes, you just REALLY like the shirt. And that’s ok, too. But it doesn’t have to be ALL you talk about.

As for little girls, I’d still rather find out what they’re reading.

8 podcasts to check out on your next road trip.

August 21, 2015Brainpower, Mediabefore your next long drive, download, itunes, listen, mysteries, new media, podcasts, public radio, road trip must haves, soundcloud, true crime, YoutubeBeth Berger

As I mentioned in this post, about this time last week I was in the midst of a LONG drive from Lexington, KY to Miami, FL. Just me, my ragdoll cat, and what felt like an endless stretch of highway. Thankfully I thought ahead and equipped my iPhone with hours of entertainment. I’m talking podcasts! Below you’ll find the 8 that made the miles fly, kept me engaged, and provided just enough nuggets of knowledge to shoo away the clouds of boredom.

Go Fork Yourself

Auditory food porn, Go Fork Yourself features Travel Channel’s own Andrew Zimmern and Hey Eleanor! blogger Molly Mogren. Each episode they chat about what’s up in the food world, give travel recommendations and exchange stories. If you’ve ever found yourself binge watching Food Network or Travel Channel shows, listening in on the convos of these two will be right up your street.

Mystery Show

This podcast (hosted by my current girl crush and This American Life veteran Starlee Kine) sets out to solve one mystery per episode — think: disappearing video rental store and a unique belt buckle found owner-less in a gutter — with only one rule. The mystery can not be solved by simply Googling. My friend J.D. specifically recommended Episode #2: Britney. And it did NOT disappoint.

Criminal

This is a podcast about crime (duh!) and tells stories of people who have done wrong, been wronged, or gotten caught somewhere in the middle. While the episodes felt a little short to me, this could have been because I was trying to kill HOURS, and they are probably the perfect length for a morning commute or a nice walk around your neighborhood after dinner. And lo and behold, the very first episode was about the Michael Peterson case! A story I’ve been obsessed with since watching the Sundance Channel miniseries, The Staircase (and then proceeding to make everyone I know watch it too).

Selected Shorts

Selected Shorts brings on stars of stage and screen to read aloud pieces of short fiction. Featured stories are by established and emerging writers alike, their words coming to life in a new way when performed by talented actors. This story time for adults had a definite calming effect on me as there is something so zen about being read to.

Ear Biscuits

Youtube stars Rhett & Link record a weekly candid conversation with their fellow creators all of whom are gaining huge popularity for work and content in new media. If you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of YouTube with any frequency, you’ll wanna download a few of these interviews. I especially enjoyed listening to the episodes featuring Tyler Oakley, Jenna Marbles, and Ingrid Nilsen. As a fairly recent YouTube aficionado, I enjoyed hearing how these folks “made it big” in the world of vlogging.

Mortified

In much the same way as the live show of the same name, Mortified allows adults to share writings from their past in an attempt to “share the shame.” I loved the Mortified documentary so I’m not sure why I had never checked out the podcast before! Definitely check it out if you haven’t already…super funny, super relatable, super feel-goody in that “we made it through!” kind of way.

Filler

Filler operates in much the same way as Ear Biscuits. Hosts Matt Shore and Harry Hitchens sit down with a major player from a creative industry and have a chat over coffee. The guys are quite good at getting their interviewees to delve deep into their stories and help connect the dots in order to draw lessons from their experiences. I especially enjoyed their interview with Blaise DiPersia, a designer/hired gun at Facebook.

Which would you choose? What podcasts do you listen to? Would love your thoughts… even though I don’t plan on driving long distances ANY time soon! Phew!

P.S. Another great podcast host ❤

The book I couldn’t put down

August 20, 2015Books, Brainpowerbook recommendation, dystopian fiction, Emily St. John Mandel, novel, post-apocalyptic, science fiction, Station ElevenBeth Berger

Are you reading anything cool these days? I just finished the book Station Eleven and L-O-V-E, loved it. Real talk: Y’all have GOT to read this book. Kickass novelist Emily St. John Mandel tells the tale of a traveling Shakespearean actress 20 years after a lethal flu pandemic sweeps across the world, leaving few left in its wake. Even if you’re not quite into dystopian/science fiction, I still think you’ll find this book a page turner as it’s pace, imagery and beautifully imagined intertwining cast of characters are all pitch perfect. Heroine Kirsten Raymonde is spunky and smart, and her, albeit fictional, story serves as a beautiful reminder of the ability of art to endure.

I also loved how the plot skipped seamlessly before, during, and after outbreak of Georgia flu, leaving me looking for clues in the past and connecting dots between survivors. The subject matter is dark — death, the shady underbelly of survival, taking the creature comforts of modernity for granted — but the themes of hope and gratitude shine through throughout.

I’d definitely recommend this book if you’d like to squeeze in one more delicious SUMMER READ before the seasons change.

P.S. For links to some of Emily St. John Mandel’s essays CLICK HERE and for more summer read recommendations CLICK HERE.

In Defense of “Go Set a Watchman”

August 5, 2015Books, Brainpower, Guest postbook club, Go Set a Watchman, guest post, Harper Lee, Katie Berger, literature, the books that touched us, To Kill a MockingbirdBeth Berger

Today, I’ve asked Katie to share her thoughts on Harper Lee’s newest book, “Go Set a Watchman” and explain why she’s defending this controversial follow-up to a classic. Enjoy!

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

I will never forget the first time I read “To Kill A Mockingbird.” I was in the 4th grade, which was, looking back, the most formative year of my reading career. I read books that to this day remain some of my favorites – “The Giver”, “Walk Two Moons”, and “The Shadow Spinner.” But most importantly, I was first introduced to my spirit animal – Scout Finch. At the time, I had this quirky habit that ultimately led to me becoming an actress. I would pretend with every molecule of myself that I was the protagonist of whatever story I was in the middle of (even if the character was a boy). So for about a month when I was nine, I lived in Maycomb County, I had a brother named Jem, my father was a lawyer, and I signed every journal entry as “Scout”.

This particular book left a lasting impact on me, more so than any other story I had read as a young girl. I remained Scout in my head long after I finished the final page. Harper Lee’s novel became my favorite book, and has remained as such. I have reread it countless times, I have performed in the stage play (as Mayella Ewell), I have traveled to Monroeville, and it was even the subject my BFA senior project in college. So, as you can imagine, when the news of “Go Set a Watchman” hit the mainstream media, I was more than a little excited. I couldn’t wait to read the rest of the story. In this installment, Scout was 26 (and being a 24 year old, this absolutely thrilled me). Before I could even get a copy though, I was inundated with negative opinions (“What is this!! Atticus is a racist!! MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE!!!”). Now, having read it, I can honestly say that I believe it is an incredibly important part of the story.

In defense of “Go Set a Watchman”:

Jean Louise is the protagonist of this story. Before we start getting our collective panties in a wad about Atticus losing his integrity, let us not forget who the hero of the story is and always has been. Scout. This is her story. This is her coming of age. This is her loss of innocence. This is HER moment. Throughout the entire narrative she has maintained her truth and defended what is important to her. That is an amazing thing!! One of the reasons I loved TKAM so much as a nine year old is because I could relate so much to Scout’s journey when she also was a nine year old. But now I’m 24. The world is completely different. The same things that I stressed and worried about as a child are not the same as the things that keep me up at night now, but it is so comforting to read this book from a strong woman’s point of view. She is still a major role model to me without having to look up to a nine year old.
It teaches a lesson we all must learn in our twenties. Which is that coming home after being away for a while is hard. Whatever you consider “home” is not a golden, safe haven where your problems disappear. Your parents don’t always have the answers. Your responsibilities are still there, waiting for you to attend to them. I believe that everyone has that moment where they realize that their childhood home and the people that shaped them are not actually as idealized as we make them out to be in our heads. It’s what we do with this new information that makes us who we are.
Atticus has always been a little bit racist. Maybe I have a skewed perception due to that time I delved so deeply into the psyche of Mayella Ewell that I will always hate Atticus just a little bit (I got something to say and then I AIN’T GONNA SAY NO MORE). Of course, he’s very polite about it in TKAM, but it’s there. He even jokes about relating intensely to a white supremacist senator who was involved with the klan. It is Scout, not Atticus, who ever pushes against racial or class distinctions. Is Atticus a villain? Absolutely not! He’s a product of his time and place. We as readers viewed him through the rose-tinted glasses that Scout herself was wearing, and as she matured, so did we. His flaws were brought to light, and yet Scout was able to transcend that.

While “To Kill a Mockingbird” will remain my favorite book, my favorite college experience, and the subject of the best paper I have ever written, I truly believe that this book is an incredibly important part of Scout’s story. She is the hero, which makes me even more proud to have named the protagonist of MY story Harper Jean, a direct allusion to TKAM. While I understand that sometimes it hurts deeply to see someone we have idealized for decades become someone we can no longer trust, let us not forget that the protagonist’s integrity and kindness has remained 100% intact. I will be forever indebted to Scout Finch for teaching me the wisest lesson of them all…

“I think there’s just one kind of folks. Folks.”

The 365 Sentence Memoir Project

May 8, 2015Brainpower, Guest post365 project, Full the Musical, guest post, journal, just a sentence, Katie Berger, memoir, write every day, writerBeth Berger

Recently, my sister Katie told me about a genius project she is undertaking and I wanted her to share it with you guys! She is a wonderful and creative recorder of her thoughts and history (a quality I deeply wish I possessed), and her newest take on journaling would be an awesome summer activity for those of you eager to get the writing juices flowing (or well-oiled if you’re on a break from school). Let’s learn more…

For a very long time, I didn’t necessarily identify as a “writer.” In fact, I would never say I was one. I was (and am) a musical theatre actress. Last December, when I had the first reading of the musical I wrote there was a press release that said “Join Playwright Katie Berger as she shares her original musical.” My thought process went like this: “Playwright Katie Berger? That’s me? Oh, yea that’s ME!! Of course I’m a writer! I literally write all the time! It’s one of my very favorite things to do in the world! I wrote a musical!” Anyway, since then I have been asked numerous times for advice and even though I feel very unqualified to give tips of any kind I always say “Make sure you write every day, even if it’s only a sentence.” Thus my newest project was born. Every day for a year, I will be writing a one sentence story. By the end of the year, I will have a 365 sentence long memoir. A year is a while to wait though, so here is a peek:

4-22

She found herself hiding in every single song on the radio.

4-23

It wasn’t exactly that she was heart broken but the rain relentlessly fell on her umbrella and she was definitely glad it wasn’t sunny.

4-24

She loved them so much that she absolutely would, without question, stay trapped in a mine if it meant she could hallucinate from lack of oxygen with them, and she took great comfort in the fact that they felt the same way about her.

4-25

He could make her smile harder than just about anyone.

4-26

Let’s get married if we both aren’t, she joked, and he said earnestly I would jump at the chance.

4-27

Sometimes it’s nice to have someone hand you a beer, crank up the show tunes, and dance the night away with.

4-28

She looked down at her flannel shirt and her polka dot skirt and her knee socks and boots and pushed up her thick rimmed glasses and chuckled at the fact that after so long trying to escape the manic pixie dream girl trope here she was delivering a handwritten letter to a boy trapped inside his own anger and when she got back home she would probably play her ukulele and dance by herself to her Ben Folds a cappella cd and she thought maybe it’s okay to be a walking stereotype because this is exactly who I am when no one is watching.

4-29

She realized that starting tomorrow she will have spent more time on this earth without him than with him.

4-30

She laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe and maybe it was because everything always seemed a bit absurd on the anniversary of her dad’s death or maybe it was because she felt slightly feverish but it was probably because the response she got from her handwritten, heart felt letter was “my chinchilla chewed the paper.”

everything you ever wanted by jillian lauren

May 5, 2015Books, Brainpoweradoption, ethiopia, everything you ever wanted, jillian lauren, memoir, new york times bestselling author, reinvention, weezerBeth Berger

Writer Jillian Lauren made quite a splash with her first book, Some Girls. The book, which details her eighteen months in the harem of Prince Jefri Bolkiah, youngest brother of the Sultan of Brunei, was a New York Times bestseller. So, where does one go from there? After tossing aside the poor student-life in New York City for a life of palaces and high-roller sex trafficking? Eager to find out, when I was offered a pre-release copy of Lauren’s newest memoir, I jumped at the chance. Admittedly, I love a good memoir. And a memoir by a former drug addict and concubine seemed like a pretty good bet to me.

I first heard pieces of Jillian Lauren’s story on The Moth. But her tale didn’t end after getting clean. Everything You Ever Wanted begins with Lauren in cosmetology school, attempting to make a more sustainable life for herself. She meets Scott Shriner (bassist for Weezer, small world) and falls crazy in love. Thus begins the tumultuous and intense journey of trying to have a child. After medical interventions and lots of super L.A. boho conception rituals, the obvious choice becomes clear, and the couple adopts an Ethiopian son. What follows is a love story between mother and child. Tender and painful. Heart warming and heart wrenching. While this book has keen lessons for any readers, I think it is a must-read for all the moms out there. (And just in time for Mother’s Day! Fancy that!) A fairly quick read, it would be a nice one to pick up for lazy summer days or a future plane ride.

Lauren’s story is a great lesson in redemption and reinvention. It’s a narrative which shows how the ability to be who we truly want to be was there all along. We were the ones with the power. The telling is honest and the writing is witty. Lauren’s journey is a struggle and the candid recollection of that struggle allows readers to go along for the ride. You can tell she wants us to find beauty in all the terribly un-glamorous aspects of motherhood. Specifically, her ability to come to terms with her own childhood through becoming an adoptive mother, just as HER mother did before her. I think this book could be especially helpful for those walking a similar adoption path. At the end of the day, Everything You Ever Wanted is a masterfully penned love letter to one very lucky and loved child from a mother whose unique past has had a profound impact on her need to write it.

I would HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone and do hope you’ll give it a look. Perhaps it will inspire you to pen your own love letters! And lucky for you lot, in honor of today’s official launch of the memoir on Amazon, I’m giving away ONE FREE COPY to one of my dear readers.

To win your very own copy of EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED BY JILLIAN LAUREN, simply comment below and tell me what book you’re currently reading and how you like it! I’ll choose the winner a week from today (May 12th). Good luck! GIVEAWAY NOW CLOSED. CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WINNER, MADDIE!

The Reading Habits Tag

February 2, 2015Books, Brainpowerbook club, books, hobbies, how I read, literature, reading, reading habits tag, where I readBeth Berger

I definitely found reading to take first prize in “happy places” for the month of January. I’m always an avid reader but recently I’ve just found nuzzling up with my cat and a book to be a brilliant evening occurrence. So, when I stumbled upon a reading tag which I bookmarked AGES ago, I thought I’d finally fill it out.

1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading?

My bed. I have one of those pillows with arms (boyfriend pillows?) that’s been going strong since my freshman year of college and it’s usually what I’m propped up on. I also weirdly prefer to read on the side of the bed that I don’t sleep on. I’m sure that’s not what all those articles that encourage you to only SLEEP in your bed if you want to have restful slumber actually mean but hey! Sometimes I read on the couch but I’ll get distracted easily. And I love, love, LOVE reading at the kitchen table while something cooks (or someone is cooking FOR me).

2. Bookmark or random pieces of paper?

I’m currently using a Christmas-y bookmark my mom tucked into our stockings. However, the ribbon that was on the end of it is long gone after the bookmark became an impromptu cat toy.

3. Can you stop reading or do you have to stop after a chapter or certain amount of pages?

I can stop at the end of a paragraph though the end of a chapter is preferable. I also like setting a timer when I read so that I don’t have to keep looking at my phone or a clock to check and see if I should be moving on to the next activity. This allows me to unwind and just enjoy as much of the book as I can get through in that time and then I stop wherever that is.

4. Do you eat or drink whilst reading?

Yes, nibbling on a snack is great while reading and of course drinking anything I can get at a coffee shop. I don’t like to eat a full meal while reading.

5. Do you watch TV or listen to music whilst reading?

No, not by choice. If someone else has something on and I want to read, I can tune it out. Chet listens to some very calming instrumental music while he works which I don’t mind but really anything else wouldn’t be my preference. I would love to be the type of person who reads during commercial breaks but let’s be real…I don’t have cable! And Hulu commercials are pretty short.

6. One book at a time or several at once?

One book at a time. I’ve dabbled in multiples–usually going for a diversity of genres, but I had a lot less on my plate in those days. Now I prefer to tuck in to one at a time and get fully immersed before moving on to the next!

7. Reading at home or everywhere?

Either. I’ll read anywhere! Some of my favorite places to read include: airports, cars, Starbucks, parks, and any sort of waiting situation.

8. Reading out loud or silently in your head?

Silently in my head…MOSTLY. My sister will be quick to tell you, I love the sound of my own voice…I didn’t do ELEVEN years of competitive speaking for nothing, ya know? So yes, I like reading out loud to other people. If I’m by myself and a passage is especially poignant or packed with a lot of information that I want to retain, I’ll stop and read it out loud. I’ve also volunteered at a radio reading service and loved every reading-out-loud SECOND of it. Sorry not sorry.

9. Do you ever read ahead or skip pages?

Not on purpose. Unless the book has pictures! Some of those memoirs with glossy photos smack-dab in the middle of the book should really come with spoiler alerts. Any lengthy acknowledgment section is also fair game for flipping to after the first chapter or so.

10. Breaking the spine or keeping it like new?

I like my books to look well-loved. And sometimes they’re not even brand new in the first place. Haven’t you people heard of a library?

11. Do you write in your books?

Sure. I don’t usually have much cause to but I’m certainly not against it. I loved writing in books in college. Cracking open a book you wrote in years later is such a meaningful time capsule.

12. What are you currently reading?

Yes Please by Amy Poehler. Before that, Lost Girls: An Unsolved American Mystery by Robert Kolker. Up next, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt.

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What are you reading these days? Have any go-to book recommendations? Please share in the comments below! ❤

Review: Lost Girls by Robert Kolker

January 23, 2015Books, Brainpowerbook club, book recommendation, New York Times Bestseller, post serial podcast books, Robert Kolker, Serial, true crime books, what to readBeth Berger

For Christmas this year, my brother and his fiancee Dawn gifted me with all the books a girl could need to get through life in a Post-Serial world. (You can see my latest book haul here.) For me, Serial spoke to my love of conspiracies, true-crime, mind-bending analysis and search engine fodder. And first up in the self-appointed “No More Serial Episodes” book-club does not disappoint on any of those counts.

Lost Girls: An Unsolved American Mystery by Robert Kolker tells the story of a serial killer still at large by delving into the lives of 5 of his victims. The disappearance of one woman, an internet prostitute, led to the discovery of four other women’s bodies, all wrapped in burlap, in the brambles along a highway just blocks from where the missing was last seen. These four, too, were prostitutes. The book dissects the trajectory of these women’s lives, the struggles that would usher in their profession of choice, details their last known whereabouts. And then showcases the heart-breaking reality of the lives they left behind, their family and friends engaged in a years long media blitzkrieg to keep their loved ones’ case alive in the hope of one day finding a notorious killer. The pain-staking care Kolker utilizes to bring these peripheral characters to light, as well as the reality that, according to a recent study, 70% of serial killer victims are prostitutes, “Lost Girls” AND this case prove that prostitution is anything but a victimless crime. While keeping up with the many story-lines within this book (there are a LOT of characters) was at times taxing, the overall themes and mystery of the case as a whole made the confusion more than worth it. Plus, there’s a handy key at the back. As the sub-title says, this case IS unsolved. So, much like Serial, there’s plenty of room for developing your own theories and plenty of conspiracies available online. So Google away! In the end, I think whether you were head over heels for Sarah Koenig’s podcast or not, “Lost Girls” will be a definite page turner for you. Especially you Law & Order loving lot!