Tag Archives: mindfulness

Selecting Mantras to Guide Key Areas of Your Life

I love mantras… And over the years, I’ve shared some fun ways for you to adopt your own. I’ve asked folks to share their favorites, created a 30-day challenge (with accompanying actions), and even pulled a few from a much-loved novel.

Sometimes I use mantras as motivation to keep going when I want to quit, other times they help me celebrate what I’ve already accomplished. It’s comforting, no matter what you use them for, to have a few words that you can pull out of your back pocket at a moment’s notice. Something concrete to focus your thoughts on when the abstract is causing your mind to spin and spiral.

Recently, I tried out a new way of identifying mantras for key areas of my life. I found the process to be a lot of fun and the mantras I came away with have become like little beacons of guiding light in these ever-stressful times.

Want to learn how I did it?

Step 1:

Make a list of 5-10 of your core motivations. These are the key areas of your life that are important to you. Think: Your career, partner, family, hobbies, earning more money, paying off debt, or traveling the world. 

Step 2: 

Identify your core values. 

Take a look at the list above. Write down every value from the list that resonates with you. Don’t put too much thought into it. If you think of a word not on the list that embodies one of your values, write that down too!

Step 3:

Now you’re going to create a column for each of the motivations you identified in Step 1. Then place each of the values you wrote copied down into the column that you think it best fits. For example, if you identified COMMUNITY as one of your core motivations, you might pull ACCEPTANCE, FUN, and LOYALTY from your values list and place it in this column. 

Step 4: 

Look at each column. What is the value that stands out the most to you in each of your lists? Go ahead and highlight or circle it. These will be the root words for each of your mantras. For the example above, you might highlight FUN because that is what you value most when seeking out community.  

Step 5: 

To create each of your mantras, you’ll want to add some sort of action to your root word. In other words, FUN can become —> Seek out fun people, experiences, and conversation. If you also identified having a HAPPY HOME as one of your core motivations and chose SIMPLICITY as your root word, you might write —> Make space for simplicity. These are now your Community Mantra and your Happy Home Mantra. 

Step 6: 

Find ways to display your new mantras where you’ll interact with them regularly. Here are two options I implemented after doing this exercise — 

  • Decorating an index card for each of my mantras and tucking them inside a drawer that I go in frequently. On some days I might just see the top card, but on other days I pick them up and flick through them as a way of grounding my day. 
  • Creating a Mantra Board in Asana. I use Asana as a project management tool for my work, but I created a board to “pin” my motivations. Under each motivation, I have the mantra I created, and then some inspiration pictures (like a vision board!). For instance, one of my motivations is TRAVEL (“Take the next adventure.”) so I added a picture to represent a Summer 2021 trip as well as a picture of somewhere on my bucket list. 

If you follow the steps, I’d love if you would share one of your mantras below! xoxo

P.S. How to wind down, and 15 date night ideas.

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Mindfulness: Not just for monks and yogis!

We’re all wondering if quarantine will ever end, but until it does, we have some prime time to get to know ourselves.

When someone says mindfulness, what do you think of? Do you think of monks in a temple wearing robes in silence, or people sitting in full lotus position meditating for hours on end? It would be understandable if you did. 

However, mindfulness isn’t just for ancient religious practice, it’s also a secular therapeutic method designed to settle our thoughts and reduce everyday stress and anxiety so that we can better focus. Regardless of what you’re into, jogging, debating, or being a lifestyle blogger; mindfulness can help support you and improve your potential. Think of it this way – driving a car is much easier once you’ve had a few lessons. Before that it’s almost impossible. 

But on the road of life, the vehicle you’re driving is not a car – it’s yourself, and mindfulness is the way you learn how to skillfully read the signs of the road and perform tricky maneuvers. So how does it work? Your mindfulness practice can begin as you read this blog post. You’re reading the words and you’re thinking about what they mean. So you’re doing two things. Bringing awareness to these two things is mindfulness. You are aware of what you’re doing. 

Another way to practice is to bring awareness to your breath. You are slowly breathing in and out. The very fact of that is amazing, but your awareness of it? That’s mindfulness. 

Here are a few more ways to practice mindfulness in your everyday life…

Walk in nature 

Take some time to visit  nature near where you live. Try out some mindful walking, that is, bring awareness to each step you take. Find a rhythm that suits you, then turn your awareness to other things. What sounds can you hear that you might have missed if you were lost in thought?  Impressions you encounter in a mindful state are more likely to resonate with you and others. 

Apply it to a craft 

If you already do a craft like knitting, model making, or paper folding then you probably use mindfulness all the time without realizing it. It’s that controlled awareness you bring to your subject. If you don’t do a craft then taking one up can be a great mindfulness practice. Not to mention, you can always feel satisfied with achieving an end product – something you have made yourself. But now you know that the process to achieving that final product is just as rewarding.

Use it in conversations 

Mindfulness is very effective in conversations with people, because mindfulness doesn’t only mean being mindful of yourself. Instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next, why not reflect on what has been said already – then respond. Bringing awareness to your conversations is a wonderful way to improve your interactions, and relationships, in a fun, creative way. 

When do YOU practice mindfulness? Do you find it difficult or rewarding?

P.S. Hobbies to try if you’re a creative soul.

How to Wind Down: 8 Activities for Self-Care and Relaxation

This post is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you’d like to make therapy a part of your self-care routine, I recommend checking them out. 

Hi friends! Welcome back to the blog! Hope you’re all doing really well. In one of my recent posts, I talked about some different actions and practices that may be helpful to incorporate at different phases of your monthly cycle. You can check that post out HERE. But I wanted to do a follow up post specifically about relaxation techniques. No matter where you’re at in your cycle, listening to your body comes first and foremost. And if you’re body is telling you to slow your roll, it’s nice to have strategies to take heed.

Here are 8 ways to wind down…

1. GO FOR A WALK

A leisurely stroll, where you are intentionally walking at a slower pace, is a lovely way to connect with yourself and your surroundings. Walking mindfully, not for exercise or to get from Point A to Point B, is very relaxing. This is a great way to chill out on the weekends or to wind down in the evenings. If you have a park or some woods near you, all the better! But nearby neighborhoods work just as well.

2. CLEAR SOME CLUTTER

Not everyone finds this calming, but I’m sure some folks would agree with me on this one. We’re not talking a huge undertaking here. Just a small space, like a drawer or the table that collects junk mail. The act of tidying up can be relaxing, but the tidy space that occurs as a result of your efforts can feel really good, too. If you binge watched Marie Kondo on Netflix, surely you know by now that a tidy space can promote a sense of calm!

3. LIGHT A CANDLE

Candles are the best, aren’t they? Lighting them in the evening is a really easy way to create a calm atmosphere. They are also a great add-on to other activities to make the experience feel more like a relaxing, self-care activity. Curled up on the couch listening to a podcast? Add a candle. Gotta wash your hair or do a face mask? Add a candle. You get the idea.

4. TURN ON A CALMING PLAYLIST

Create a couple playlists to have at the ready for whenever you need to set a relaxing tone. You might not have time to dedicate a portion of your evening to self-care. Maybe you had an event at work and now you have to quickly do the dishes, iron your clothes for tomorrow, and wash your face before you crash. Why not go about these chores with some soothing music playing? This is a great way to promote a relaxing atmosphere and calming state of mind alongside anything else you’ve got going on.

5. ROLL OUT A YOGA MAT

Give restorative yoga a try. (Just do a quick YouTube search if you don’t have any favorites at the ready.) This isn’t your typical rigorous yoga class, like a vinyasa flow, it is much more gentle. You’ll find yourself almost in a meditative state as you flow through relaxing positions. Thirty minutes to an hour of this gentle stretching and mindfulness is time well spent.

6. FOLLOW A GUIDED MEDITATION

Pop on your earbuds and get comfortable. Traditional meditation can get frustrating sometimes, especially if your mind is racing a mile a minute. Alleviate the pressure of having to shoo away thoughts for yourself with the help of a guide. This is great to do right before bed or if you just wanna zen out.

7. DRAW YOURSELF A BATH

Taking a hot bath is a classic. This is a great way to carve out a little “me time” while promoting sleep. Try adding essential oils into the water. Lavender is definitely a go-to in the relaxation department, but do a little experimentation. Different smells evoke different feelings for different folks. Try: frankincense, geranium, chamomile, pine, etc.

8. POUR YOURSELF A DRINK

No, not a bourbon on the rocks (although, you might want that once and awhile, too!). I’m talking about soothing, healing drinks like herbal teas. Enjoy the process that goes along with brewing the perfect mug and then take some time to sit down and mindfully enjoy. For extra relaxation you could find the best CBD oil to add to your drink and really wind down.

What activities help YOU relax? Share your favorite ways to wind down below.

If you enjoy my blog content, please consider supporting what I do (and keeping me caffeinated). Thank you! xoxo ☕

5 Ways to Cultivate a More Meaningful Life

*This post may contain affiliate links.

When you think of leading a meaningful life, you might think about charity work, mindful meditation, and various other things which seem somehow quite detached from our day to day lives.

However, living a meaningful life – however you understand it – should by no means be the kind of thing that you relegate to a few hours, one day per week. Instead, it can be something that factors into how you live each and every day, and a mindset that contributes dramatically to the overall quality of your life.

Keep in mind, too, that you can easily benefit from attempts to lead a more meaningful life, without having any particular metaphysical, or religious beliefs. You could just as easily take the term as a metaphor for your emotional well-being.

So, without further ado, here are several ways to cultivate a more meaningful life – 

Find the time and space for real, genuine solitude

Author Cal Newport, writing in his recent book Digital Minimalism, notes that throughout history, many of the most productive, insightful, and successful people , viewed solitude as an essential part of the equation for their success.

“Solitude” here doesn’t refer to just “being alone,” or having no one else around you. In fact, that’s not even an essential part of this definition. “Solitude,” as Newport refers to it, is the ability to be left alone with our own thoughts, without being subject to external distractions.

He explains how holy figures in all major (and minor) religions have emphasized the importance of getting away from it all, and retreating into quiet contemplation every once in a while. (See also: my posts on this book!) 

In a time when we are surrounded by the never-ending flow of information provided by the digital landscape, it is perhaps more important than ever to make time for this type of “solitude.”

When we do so, we gift ourselves the opportunity to reflect on our own thoughts and experiences, resolve any issues which might be on our minds, and get in touch with our emotions.

If you are constantly surrounded by external sources of information – like social media feeds, the 24-hr news cycle, billboards, TV ads, and dozens of people making demands on your attention – your personal well-being might be served extremely well by simply getting away from it all for a while.

This doesn’t require any major life shift – generally speaking. Simply going for regular walks, without your phone in your pocket, might do the trick.

Listen to your soul – and pay attention to what it has to tell you

The psychologist Carl Jung  believed that to fail to listen to our souls, and heed the messages contained therein, was a fast track to a stagnant and unfulfilling life. Maybe even to an early grave.

Jung’s idea was that we should always be attentive to our inner emotions, impulses, and beliefs – and look for the lessons those parts of ourselves are trying to impart.

Jung did not, however, claim that we should always act on our emotional impulses. But, how many people go through their lives with the perpetual sense that something is wrong, and never take steps to investigate or correct that?

Listen to your soul – pay attention to what it has to say – and make sure that you are not silencing important messages from within.

Declutter your environment

There’s  something to be learned from the explosion in popularity of the recent “minimalism” phenomenon. As of this writing, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo is one of the most popular shows streaming on Netflix.

Just a few years before this, the documentary Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things, also took much of the world by storm.

For one reason or another, many of us are more or less obsessed by the idea of decluttering our homes, and regaining a sense of simplicity in our personal domains.

It’s not too hard to see why this would take off as a trend, either. When we have “de-cluttered” environments, we are better able to appreciate the belongings we do possess, are less likely to find our attention, and sense of well-being, jarred by the ever-present piles of mess, clutter, and half-forgotten belongings, and may feel significantly better off as a result.

Decluttering your home may seem like the ultimate “physical” act. It’s something that – for all intents and purposes – takes place entirely in the material world. This means that it does not necessarily jive with our preconceived notions about living mindfully and meaningfully.

Don’t be fooled, though. Reducing the clutter in our physical environments, and tidying things up, can have a profound impact on our emotional well-being. 

Investigate “energy manipulation” techniques

Since ancient times, people around the world have developed and engaged in practices and exercises designed to help “balance”, or “manipulate” their internal energies.

Think, for example, of yogis balancing their chakras, or practitioners of Reiki, “directing energy” into other people, as a means of healing them.

Now, whether or not you believe that subtle energies are being transmitted from one body to another – there is nonetheless ample evidence that engaging in these “energy manipulation” techniques can go a long way in terms of boosting people’s sense of balance, harmony, and spiritual well-being. (See also: this post about crystals!) 

In fact, this may not even just be the case for human beings. Various practices of energy healing for animals exist, and – according to those who practice them – are often remarkably effective.

So, whether or not you take the idea of energy manipulation techniques literally, you might find that signing up for that local Reiki class can have a significant, and powerful impact on your overall well-being. And, it may help you to develop and refine your sense of being in touch with yourself, and cultivating a sense of meaning, too.

Identify your “bliss” – and follow it

The famous professor of myth, Joseph Campbell, once said that people should “follow their bliss.” The exact meaning of this saying may be subject to some interpretation – but it clearly serves as a call to do things that we find fulfilling, life-affirming, and significant.

People who quit dead-end jobs that have been weighing them down for years, in order to embark upon new careers that seem altogether more meaningful, often report feeling reborn.

It’s not at all uncommon, for people to feel they have discovered new depths of energy, enthusiasm, and vitality, when making such a change – often to the extent that they are absolutely amazed that such a thing was even possible.

“Following your bliss” – in the sense of doing things with your life and time that you find meaningful – is not just a great way of improving your overall quality of life. It is, more or less, a high spiritual art. It is the kind of thing that naturally possesses an aura of almost supernatural value and significance.

If you find that your day job is a major source of pain, irritation, and drain on your psychological well-being, you should take it as a challenge to find a way of doing something more meaningful with your time.  Where else can you carve out meaning in your life? After all a 9-5 job is just 8 hours. What will you do with the other 16? Use them to “follow your bliss.”

How do you cultivate a meaningful life? 

A 30 Day Mantra Challenge (+ FREE activity guide)

Now that you know how to incorporate mantras in your daily life and have read up on the mantras folks love and use, let’s get action oriented! The benefits of mantras are no joke and committing to a 30 day practice is a wonderful first step to start reaping the rewards. So, I’ve created a 30 Day Mantra Challenge!

There’s a new mantra for every day of the 30 day challenge. Each day, focus your thoughts on the words. Repeat them to yourself as you get ready in the morning and during your work-outs. Let them wash over you as you take breaks, feel over-whelmed, or sit in traffic. Consider their power as you turn in for the night. Let’s get started…

Day 1. Today I let go of all that does not serve me.
Day 2. I choose to nourish my heart and mind.
Day 3. I choose compassion and kindness.
Day 4. I am loved.
Day 5. I feel abundance all around me.
Day 6. I feel abundance within me.
Day 7. Everything is working in my favor.
Day 8. The Universe is powerful and I exist within it.
Day 9. I trust in the power of the Universe.
Day 10. I am strong.
Day 11. I am grounded.
Day 12. I am connected.
Day 13. I send healing light to those in need.
Day 14. I align myself with my highest truth.
Day 15. I communicate with love and understanding.
Day 16. I open myself to the fullness of my power.
Day 17. I am enough.
Day 18. My mind is clear.
Day 19. This is my path towards a higher purpose.
Day 20. I connect and ask for guidance.
Day 21. I am grateful for this day.
Day 22. I am grateful for my body.
Day 23. I am grateful for my mind.
Day 24. I feel gratitude for the abundance all around me.
Day 25. I am graceful.
Day 26. I have the tools to overcome any obstacle.
Day 27. Practice and all is coming.
Day 28. I love and honor where I’m at today.
Day 29. Be brave.
Day 30. Find delight!

If you want to take your journey one step further, I’ve also prepared a FREE activity guide to augment each day’s mantra. Every day includes 3 action items – 1 to promote positivity, 1 to help with productivity, and 1 for focusing on self-care. If you’d like to nab a PDF of your very own activity guide – CLICK HERE.


In this multi-week series, #MantraMania, I’m laying the ground work for you to make mantras a part of your life. Here’s what we’ve covered:

  1. Do you use mantras?
  2. How to Incorporate Mantras in Your Daily Life
  3. Revealed: People Share Favorite Mantras
  4. A 30 Day Mantra Challenge to Welcome Positivity, Productivity, and Self-Care (+ FREE activity guide)

Revealed: 9 People Share Their Favorite Mantras

Do you have a go-to mantra you find yourself using day in and day out? I used to focus on (and murmur to myself) the same 2 or 3 phrases to instill mindfulness, confidence, and gratitude. But lately I’ve been looking to switch it up! So, in search of some inspiration, I asked 9 folks to share their favorite mantras. Here’s what they said…

“The mantra I utilize most often is, ‘Be kinder than necessary.’  There is certainly a place in this world for strong words, but I believe you can be kind in your intent, even if the message you need to deliver or the actions you need to take are difficult.  I find that if I am mindful and make my intentions, actions, and words kinder than is strictly necessary I have fewer regrets and am less prone to the useless over thinking of past interactions – which I am very prone to as an anxious person.  The hardest part of applying this mantra is trying to be kinder with myself!”

-Rachel, Ecologist

“My favorite mantra is, ‘Keep your mind where your feet are.’ I think it’s important to not let what is ahead or behind you distract from what you’re currently doing. Every experience or challenge requires and deserves your entire presence. I say it a ton and I encourage my students to use it as well. Two of my students even got the word “Mind” tattooed on their feet!”

-Chad, University Instructor & Debate Coach 

“I actually have two favorite mantras. First, ‘I am exactly where I need to be today.’ It’s easy to get caught up in comparison mindset when you’re working towards goals. It seems someone is always prettier, smarter, more successful, more creative, further along, etc. This mantra really helps me put on blinders and breathe into just knowing I am exactly where I need to be. It allows me to have more peace and quiet, which is far more productive than those icky feelings of inadequacy which often result in burnout and pessimism.

Second,  If you’re not failing often, you’re not trying hard enough.’ In order to really scale and take it to the next level, I believe failure is a requirement. I’ve never met anyone who says they have only succeeded 100% of the time. Failing is a great thing because we’re able to learn and grow. I often try to set goals around failing and currently my goal is 3 times a month. This means I’m going to plan and tackle something I’ve never tried at least three times. I don’t look at failure as a setback, but rather a required action to move me forward.”

-Emily, expert career coach at CultiVitae

“I’ve actually started praying a Hail Mary anytime I need a mantra for a difficult endeavor. It worked wonders during a race I ran two weekends ago, as well as during my first backpacking trip this weekend! For self-affirmation, I tend to just say to myself, ‘You are enough.’ Too often I get stuck thinking friends, family, or even God, will only love me if I do certain things or become a certain way. But this statement reminds me that I am loved right now, just as I am.”

-Johnna, Community Organizer

“There are many mantras I use depending on the circumstance. ‘I am Human. What do humans do? Humans adapt and overcome.’ That helps me a lot when I am feeling tired or getting depressed. ‘Life is suffering.’ This isn’t said in a pessimistic tone. More of a tone that evokes the idea that suffering is an indication of an opportunity to grow. Working out? My legs hurt but pushing through it will make me stronger. The ping of loneliness? Connect with the divine and find an inner peace that doesn’t waver in the face of circumstance. ‘The only way to fail is to quit, setbacks are part of the process.’ Breaking new ground means sometimes I will get in over my head and maybe I will miss the mark. That’s life. That’s how it works. I say or do something stupid, then I know, ‘ok, that was stupid. Let’s reconsider and learn.’”

-Dylan, digital nomad & filmmaker

‘Everything is always working out for me,’ has been a mantra of mine for quite some time, perhaps close to 8 years, since I really started to believe that I create my own reality.

I love reminding myself of this regularly as a part of my daily gratitude. I also love, and find myself repeating this mantra, during times when things feel hard, or like something feels amiss. It feels so normal at this point to know that things are happening FOR me and not TO me. This simple shift alone has radically changed my life.

The mantra also helps remind me that whatever is happening right now must be an important part of the bigger picture, and that even if things feel challenging, they will not feel this way for long, because even in this difficult moment, things are working out for me. It helps me feel the universe supporting me, even in the moments that feel clouded. It helps me feel inspired to keep believing, and to know that everything I do matters and contributes to the journey that I’m on. When I remind myself that things are always working out for me, I stay in a positive, more love-filled space. I share that loving energy with myself and those around me, and feel like I am actively choosing to become the person I truly want to and can be.”

-Brittany, Simple Living and Travel expert and entrepreneur

“Hmm, choosing a favorite mantra is tough because I’ve been using mantras differently lately… I’m about to sound super hippie, okay? Are you sure you’re ready?! Lately I’ve been trying to embody my mantras instead of “think” them. So when I sit for meditation, I think of a word or feeling, and then I manifest that feeling inside my physical body. So if I want to be sensitive to inspiration and see it everywhere, I focus on “feeling” what it feels like to be inspired. I summon that buzzing productive energy and allow myself to truly feel it in the moment. I dive all the way in and simmer in whatever feeling I need to cultivate for the day. Not your traditional mantra, but it makes meditation more tactile and less theoretical. It’s really helpful!”

-Erin, Bad Yogi

“My two favorite mantras are There is always tomorrow’ and ‘You WILL get through this.’”  The first one is pretty self-explanatory – it keeps me from beating myself up about something that happened today – I’ll always get a second chance tomorrow to do better.  The second one sounds really simple, but it allows me to step outside myself and realize that I have been through tough and frustrating times before, and have thought I would never got through them, but that in the end I survived.  Nothing lasts forever, and sometimes I need to remind myself of that!”

-Megan, Book Coach

“I love this mantra: This, just this, I am comfortable not knowing.’ — Debbie Millman
I write it down at least once a week, and it’s such a good reminder in staying present and being okay with not knowing everything. I am someone who has always wanted to know how things are going to go in my life. I remember as a small child being shocked to learn we have no way of knowing when we are going to die. That we don’t receive that information on a piece of paper slipped under our door. As an adult, I still struggle with the unknown, which is to say, my entire future — any moment that is not right now. I’d like to know it all, because then I think I could relax a little. If only I knew who I’m going to marry, and how many kids I’ll have, and if my dreams will become a reality, and if I’ll finally eat pasta in Italy. Of course, life doesn’t work this way. I know this on an intellectual level. But being in your 20’s, I’ve realized, is an entire world of unknowns. On a bad day, I remind myself of the mantra, and I pick one thing to be okay with not knowing. It’s easier when it’s just one thing, and even if it’s small (what I’m going to have for dinner, for example), it’s good practice in staying present, in letting go.”
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Do any of these mantras resonate with you? What’s YOUR favorite mantra? 


In this multi-week series, #MantraMania, I’m going to lay the ground work for you to make mantras a part of your life. Here’s what you can expect from the series:

  1. Do you use mantras?
  2. How to Incorporate Mantras in Your Daily Life
  3. Revealed: People Share Favorite Mantras
  4. A 30 Day Mantra Challenge to Welcome Positivity, Productivity, and Self-Care (+ FREE activity guide)

5 Ways to Incorporate Mantras in Your Daily Life

When we think about mantras it’s easy to imagine a pretzel-legged yogi, chanting in near-coma calm, a look of transcendence on their face. Maybe there’s a Tibetan singing bowl involved, maybe the lights are dimmed.

But what about those of us who need the power of positive thought so we don’t slam into a pedestrian in a fit of road rage on our commute? The folks who want to harness their affirmations so they nail an interview, not transcendence?

I think mantras have a place in OUR mouths, too!

Remember: A mantra has the power to drown out excess noise – like negative thoughts about traffic and bad interview results – to help you quell the accompanying emotions – such as rage and fear.

Often, the situations in which we experience the most excess noise are the very times we can’t commit to a 30-minute meditation practice. But we can still turn to a mantra to guide us through.

Here are a few ways to incorporate mantras in your daily life…

1. As you prepare for your day. Laying in bed after your alarm sounds is a great time to set an intention for your day. Then, you can repeat the intention throughout your morning routine to infuse the mantra in every step of your preparations, setting yourself up for greatness! As you brush your teeth, blow-dry your hair, prepare your coffee pot, and pull on your shoes–repeat your mantra. Try: Today, I will choose happiness. 

2. During your work out. Whether you’re rolling out your mat or lacing up your sneakers, there’s definitely an opportunity to infuse a little mindfulness in your fitness plan. Mantras can be a great motivator (even Nike uses “Just do it!”) but they can also serve as an opportunity to give thanks for the strength and power your body holds. Try: If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.

3. In quiet moments of solitude. Sometimes your mind needs a quick reset in the midst of a hectic day. When you stumble into a second of peace – kids finally napping, you’re alone in your office for the first time all day, or hey! a bathroom stall (I’m not judging!) – use the time to focus your thoughts in a way that will serve you. Try: Taking a long, hard look in the mirror reminds me of who’s boss. 

4. When negative thoughts creep in. We all have our negative thought triggers. Whether yours comes from road rage and interview stress like the examples above or perhaps as a result of fear of public speaking, a toxic relationship holding you back, or just reading the news each day, mantras are a powerful solution. Instead of trying to silence these thoughts (impossible!), use new thoughts in order to transcend them. Try: I am filled with positive actions.

5. Before you fall asleep. After a long day it’s nice to reflect on what you’re grateful for. Instead of the thought spiral that can lead to sleeplessness, identify those things which truly served you in positive ways today. Did you know the happiest people do this daily? Jump on board! Try: I am thankful for [fill in the blank!].

Will you try these out? How do YOU incorporate mantras in your daily life? 


In this multi-week series, #MantraMania, I’m going to lay the ground work for you to make mantras a part of your life. Here’s what you can expect from the series:

  1. Do you use mantras?
  2. How to Incorporate Mantras in Your Daily Life
  3. Revealed: People Share Favorite Mantras
  4. A 30 Day Mantra Challenge to Welcome Positivity, Productivity, and Self-Care (+ FREE activity guide)

Do you use mantras?

Do you use mantras? I find them wildly helpful for setting intentions, practicing mindfulness, and chilling the eff out. Haha! In fact, I named this very blog to honor one of my favorite mantras of all time. FIND DELIGHT.

As you go about the tasks of your day, your mind is constantly popping in with new thoughts and ideas. And there are emotions that go along with these brain intruders. Sometimes a thought will bring up self-doubt, an idea will instill fear. A mantra has the power to drown out the excess noise, and to quell the accompanying emotions, by repeating something neutral or even empowering!

So why does it work?

“Put simply, it’s because it employs the thinking mind instead of trying to ignore it, silence it or subdue it. It uses thoughts to transcend thoughts, which is an extremely skillful method.” 

As I mentioned before, FIND DELIGHT, is one of my faves but I’ve used many others to help me focus my thoughts in a direction of my choosing. If you’ve never given mantras a try, I encourage you to do so! Over the next few weeks I’ll be posting more about mantras so check back if this sorta thing tickles your fancy or you’d like to learn more. Until then choose a chant that suits ya…

I AM STRONG.
I AM ABUNDANT.
I AM CONFIDENT.
I AM HAPPY.
I AM ALL I NEED.

BE BRAVE.
FIND DELIGHT.


In this multi-week series, #MantraMania, I’m going to lay the ground work for you to make mantras a part of your life. Here’s what you can expect from the series:

  1. Do you use mantras?
  2. How to Incorporate Mantras in Your Daily Life
  3. Revealed: People Share Favorite Mantras
  4. A 30 Day Mantra Challenge to Welcome Positivity, Productivity, and Self-Care (+ FREE activity guide)

I stopped paying women compliments on their appearance and here’s what happened.

see no evil

A few years ago, much like the rest of everyone ever on the Internet, I fell in love with this Huffington Post piece by Lisa Bloom, “How to Talk to Little Girls”. In it, Bloom recounts a recent interaction she had with a little girl named Maya in which she engaged the five-year-old about books instead of outfits. Arguing for readers to ask girls about their minds rather than comment on their appearance, she made a compelling case. Here’s an excerpt…

“Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What’s missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.”

Hollering, “PREACH Lisa, preach!!!” the whole way, I ran to my nearest public library and plowed through Bloom’s book Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World. I was armed with all sorts of advice about using my mind for the betterment of the future. I devoured Bloom’s analysis and added all her favorite books to my reading list. But it was her initial advice about talking to girls that really impacted me. At this point in my life, I had recently made the career switch from a job that required constant brain-power and creativity and problem solving to one in retail, which…well, didn’t. However, I WAS constantly interacting with customers, meeting new people, and engaging with employees. I thought, what a perfect opportunity to challenge myself based on Bloom’s advice! But limiting her “conversation how-to” JUST to little girls didn’t seem like enough of a challenge. So I decided to go ALL in. I vowed that for the foreseeable future all small-talk with females, ANY females, would center around subjects OTHER than appearance; meaning no compliments or comments on their clothes, hair, face, body, shoes, makeup or anything I deemed appearance-oriented.

Here’s what happened…

Introverts beware! The biggest initial hurdle, you may have guessed by now, was finding things to talk about. I’m not the most outgoing person in the world, especially with strangers, so cutting out an easy conversation starter forced me to be a bit braver than normal and get creative. With little ones it was easy to ask things like, “Did you do anything fun in school today?” or “What’s that book about?” Real adult LADIES were another story. More often than not, if I was meeting them for the first time, I would panic and end up saying nothing at all. With acquaintances and friends I tried to lead by example. I would talk about books I was reading or local events I wanted to check out in the hopes they’d follow suit. Sometimes this tactic worked and sometimes it didn’t. When it didn’t, I ended up talking about myself a bit more than I was comfortable with. One sided convos about ME weren’t helping ANYONE…so I had to go back to the drawing board again and again to figure out new ways of talking to other women-folk.

little girl

Little girls LOVE a conversation outlet. So, it wasn’t just MY end of the conversation that proved especially easy with the young’uns…they were super about their side of things too! I quickly remembered how awesome I felt as a little kid when older people would REALLY talk to me. Giving others that feeling and opportunity was such an easy way to brighten even my most shitty days. Little girls will happily tell you about who they sat with at lunch, their favorite field trip, a ballet recital, the name of the horse they rode last week, a multitude of reasons why they hate broccoli, classroom pets like hamsters and snakes, why their baby brother is shy, what their imaginary friend is up to at this VERY moment, that they’ve already read THIS BOOK five times but they just love it so much they’re reading it again…and on and on and on. Parents were usually happy for the break or happy to join in. Little girls are awesome and they have a LOT to say. Even those little loves who were too shy to jump into conversation with me were easy to compliment on things other than appearance. Not ONCE did a parent have to chime in and thank me for a compliment that their kid had ignored. I find they often do when you tell a little girl something like, “Nice hair bow!”

Are compliments currency? Never have I found receiving a compliment so daunting as I did when I wasn’t paying them. Notice this turn of phrase. We call it “paying” someone a compliment. As I mentioned before, around the time I decided to go on a compliment fast, I was in a new job. New co-workers would serve up a “I love your shoes!” or “Your hair is so nice!” or “Those glasses are awesome!” and I would fill up with dread. How do I RECEIVE a compliment on my appearance if I can’t PAY one in return? Never too great at taking compliments in stride in the first place, I became even worse. I got caught up in the reciprocation aspect, or lack there of. Which is why I move that we give compliments instead of pay them! No matter what kind of compliment they are. Hand them out and expect nothing in return. And don’t worry about paying anyone back when you’re given one either! This was a hard lesson to learn but one I’m grateful for–ain’t nobody got time for calculating compliment exchange rates.

female friends

Female acquaintances vs. Female friends Because I was actively avoiding superficial conversations it was easy to steer clear of superficial friendships. I quickly developed camaraderie’s with ladies who shared similar interests to me…even if that was just talking shit about annoying co-workers or Netflix binges. If the conversation flowed easily without talk of appearance, she would move from acquaintance to friend. If it didn’t, I would still enjoy some small talk here and there but that was enough. I didn’t try and push anything. It became much easier than ever before to tell the difference. Initially, I felt terrible for making this distinction with one particular female acquaintance. She constantly complimented me, we had similar backgrounds and current positions, and everyone around me just LOVED HER. But something  didn’t click when we talked to each other. I think if I had tried each day to offer her mindless compliments, I wouldn’t have been able to admit that it was better for us to remain acquaintances than forced friends.

In which I give myself a caveat. Pretty early on in the challenge I decided to give ladies of a certain age (Think: Grandmas) a pass and lift my compliment fast for a few moments just for them. This gave me the opportunity to offer really genuine, thought-out praise. I think because the compliments felt so real to me, they felt that real to those I was complimenting too. I can only describe their responses as delighted. Reserving these little moments of appreciation for a beautifully tailored suit or a colorful brooch or a gorgeous pair of soft leather gloves was definitely worth their surprised and humbled replies. Usually their thanks was coupled with a beautiful (and sometimes beautifully sad) story, circling back to the type of conversation I was after in the first place.

So, you may be wondering, where do I stand on all of this now? In the end, I lifted my ban on complimenting women’s appearance. As long as they’re adults I figure it’s fair game, and even then I sometimes slip and tell a kid I like her shoes. Mostly the challenge taught me to be mindful with my compliments and not to toss them around as a conversation crutch. Girls don’t need to evaluate their self-worth based on looks just because I can’t think of anything clever to say. I also learned that for some of my sisters out there compliments are an important part of female communication. Choosing not to engage with them on that level can be damaging. The last thing I want is to shut out a fellow lady-friend! I realize now that some of the compliments I give (and some that I receive, too) are rocking this as their subtext…

Subtext: I know there’s more to what makes you awesome than your ability to select and wear that t-shirt but I haven’t quite put my finger on what it is so for now I’m gonna tell you “your shirt is soooo cute!” and maybe, through that banal quip, the lines of communication between us will open just a wee bit more and I’ll get to the bottom of why you’re so darn cool and I can compliment your mind and your heart and your soul without feeling shy and embarrassed and weird.” 

…and that’s ok. Sometimes, you just REALLY like the shirt. And that’s ok, too. But it doesn’t have to be ALL you talk about.

As for little girls, I’d still rather find out what they’re reading.

DIY: Mason Jar Bath Salts

bathsalts

Ok, I realize the concept of bath salts has been getting a bad rap as of late, ever since weirdos in Florida started smoking them and eating people’s faces off. But ACTUAL bath salts, the kind you soak in, are freaking awesome. Combine the benefits of essential oils with the benefits of salt in your bath water and you have a recipe for mindfulness, muscle recovery, stress relief, improved circulation, and a headache solution. This is a really simple DIY that you can adapt based on your favorite colors, scents, and containers to customize to your liking. Make a huge batch and you’ll have an arsenal of gifts you can break out at a moment’s notice. Not to mention, during the process, your house will smell amazing! I packaged this batch in mason jars because DUH! and I love mason jars (I also wanted to decoupage the tops for some added flair) but I think these, these or these would work well too. You could even be super thrifty and reuse cleaned out food jars.

What you’ll need:

For the salts–

-1 cup of epsom salt

-1 cup of sea salt

-essential oil (I used peppermint and lavender)

-food coloring (I used red and blue)

For the mason jar packaging–

-mason jars with this kind of lid

-magazine cutouts

-decoupaging supplies (I used glue, water and a paintbrush but use Mod Podge if you’re feeling fancy)

-pretty ribbon/s (twine would also look adorably shabby chic)

-a fun charm to tie around the top of the jar

and how it all comes together:

-Mix one cup of epsom salt and one cup of sea salt in a large mixing bowl.

-Add 3-6 drops of food coloring. Mix and add more until you reach your desired hue.

-Add 5-10 drops of your chosen essential oil(s). (You can do a little online research if you’re not familiar with oils and their various benefits.)

-Set the bowl aside and pretty up your mason jar tops by decoupaging a tiny collage on top.

-Spoon your salts into the jars and throw the top on.

-Tie a small charm or gift tag/label around the jar with your chosen ribbon/s.

Voila! You’re well on your way to giving someone the gift of stress relief and a proper pampering.