Category Archives: Books

Our storytelling minds.

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A few days ago, I finished reading The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human by Jonathan Gottshcall. In it, Gottschall presents a unique theory–that stories assist humans in navigating the complex social problems we encounter throughout our lives. Likening storytelling to flight simulators, which allow pilots to learn while on the ground, we live out a multitude of situations through the landscapes of make believe which are later applicable to our reality. Storytelling has evolved, he argues, in order to help keep us alive. There are many aspects of this book which I found fascinating–linking narrative to psychology, neuroscience and evolutionary biology. Not to mention, highlighting instances where a story changed the course of history (think Wagner’s Rienzi‘s influence on Hitler, Uncle Tom’s Cabin setting the stage for the most terrible war in American history, and the economic impact of Jaws on coastal vacation destinations).

There is another link, however, between narrative and mental illness. After the passing of yet another beloved performer, artist and storyteller who suffered from depression and addiction, the implications of this connection seem exceptionally pertinent. Gottschall points to the psychiatrist Arnold Ludwig’s study of mental illness and creativity which found far higher rates of psychiatric disorders in artistic fields than say political, scientific or business. Perhaps, the book points out, those with mental disorders are drawn towards creative outlets because of the stories they can create there. Stories which can give structure to what is going on inside their heads. Sometimes these stories are what bring us The Starry Night or Mrs. Dalloway and sometimes these stories go terribly awry. At times, there is a tragic cost for having storytelling minds.

So, what does that mean for us? In the wake of Robin William’s passing, diminishing the stigma of mental illness is again on the minds of many. Helping those suffering is a cause worth fighting for and believing in…but how do we do it? Personally, this is something I’ve been trying to find the answer to for some time. And one passage in Gottschall’s book really stood out to me. While it speaks to the success of psychotherapy, I found it an interesting analogy to help me better conceive of depression and it’s effects on the affected brain and person.

According to the psychologist Michele Crossley, depression frequently stems from an “incoherent story,” an “inadequate narrative account of oneself,” or “a life story gone awry.” Psychotherapy helps unhappy people set their life stories straight; it literally gives them a story they can live with…A psychotherapist can therefore be seen as a kind of script doctor who helps patients revise their life stories so that they can play the role of protagonists again–suffering and flawed protagonists, to be sure, but protagonists who are moving toward the light.

We each live the story of our lives. Our stories change and intersect, get written and edited and re-written…and sometimes we need reminders that we are the heroes in our own stories. And so that is how I am resolved to help, to continuously write chapters into my own story in which I name the heroes of others.

 

(Painting via here.)

 

A Book Wish-List: What I wish I was curled up reading right now.

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Admittedly, my “to read” list is WAY too long for my own good. I add to it faster than my current book consumption speed allows for. If I had a week off to spend luxuriating in an outdoor chaise lounge with a big glass of blackberry iced tea these are the five books I would marathon through.

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Well-Read Women: Portrait’s of Fictions Most Beloved Heroines by Samantha Hahn

Using watercolor and words, Hahn creates portraits of 50 of the most well-read female characters of the literary world. Ethereal descriptions, hand-written quotations and beautiful artwork work together to breathe life into the likes of Daisy Buchanan and Anna Karenina once more, just as they were initially introduced to us.

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The Promise: a Tragic Accident , a Paralyzed Bride, and the Power of Love Loyalty and Friendship by Rachelle Friedman

I first hear about Rachelle Friedman’s story from Chet when he told me how popular her AMA’s had been on Reddit. Friedman was paralyzed from the chest down after a friend jokingly pushed her into a pool on the night of her bachelorette party. Vowing to never reveal the identity of her friend, she has not only had to endure the tragedy of her injury but also a life-long secret. Yet, in the face of everything, Freidman got her fairy-tale wedding. A scroll through one of her AMA’s will also reveal what a positive and inspiring person she continues to be.

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Can’t We Talk about Something More Pleasant: A Memoir by Roz Chast

I love, love, LOVE graphic-novel memoirs. They add such a level of personality and relatability to the author’s life story. This one tells the story of an only child’s aging parents. Covering the last few years of her parent’s lives, Chast utilizes her cartoons, family photos and old documents to paint a more holistic picture of her, at times hilarious and at times grippingly sad, narrative.

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Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities by Alexandra Robbins 

Robbins knocked it out of the park with “The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth” and I have a feeling this book is no different. Through undercover research, Robbins exposes the darkside of university greek life while also revealing the successful women within their hallowed halls, as well. This sneaky expose certainly speaks to my interest in sociological non-fiction.

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This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper 

This New York Times Bestseller has been making the rounds on the blogosphere and everyone is raving about it. Plus, I want to read it before seeing the movie. Which also looks good.

Alright, now it’s your turn! If you could spend the next week in your pj’s, on a beach, curled up on a porch swing or WHEREVER you best like to blazingly turn pages; what 5 books would be on your night stand, in your beach bag or stacked haphazardly on the edge of a flower pot?! SPILL! I can’t wait to read your answers!!! No doubt I’ll add most of them to my ever growing book scroll. Happy reading. ❤ 

(top photo via here.)

Tour my shelves.

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Today, I thought I’d let you take a little tour of my bookcase shelves. I’ve been contemplating a bookshelf reorganization by color (straight up Roy G. Biv style) just to change things up but also because they look so fun and aesthetically pleasing when I see colorful book rainbows on Pinterest and Apartment Therapy. (Examples: here, here and here.) For now, though, these books live categorically–in my own little library system. So go ahead and take a peek at my bedroom bookcase. I have another smaller set of shelves in my living room for books that deserve more spotlight as well as a shelf in my dining room for cookbooks–we’ll save their tours for another day. (Remember when I said I may never whittle down ALL of my belongings to fit in an actual, real life tiny home? Haha.) Want a closer look?

Some fiction…

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Some favorite reads…

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Kid lit…

childrens

A few for drama…

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Lit class holdovers…

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More fiction…

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Communication Studies…

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Religion and Dreams (lol)…

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A teeny, tiny German language section…

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Memoirs…

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Poetry…

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Gettin’ my learn on…

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and teachin’ younguns how to be orators…

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How do you organize your books? Do you think I should make the switch and have all these book-babies live the rainbow life? I guess if I end up hating it I can always switch it back to my current system…especially now that I have photo documentation. : ) 

Strawberry Walks into Bar.

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I just finished this book, girl walks into a bar. by Strawberry Saroyan, that I scored last year at the Friends of the Library book sale for a buck. While at times the memoir feels a bit banal, it does paint a clear picture of life in the magazine (and pseudo-famous) world of the angst-riddled 90’s. The memoir is split into chapters which read more like individual essays as opposed to supporting an over-arching story, yet thematically they all work in the context of the title–Saroyan seems to have “come of age” so to speak in the various bars she frequented.

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Here she discusses her ritual of going to bars every Thursday night with a group of friends she made after moving cross country in her mid-20’s:

We weren’t just people who hung out at a bar one evening a week together, trying to valet our screwed-up cars as discreetly as possible before dashing in in our fancy duds. We were friends. For even though they’d all seemed so glittering to me, the truth was we were all, to varying degrees, alone: Rich or poor, ascending or not, we were almost all professionally freelance, and personally single.

We were all edging toward thirty, too, without the family and kids that some of us had been taught to expect by this time, but even more than that, without the sense of being adults that had been implicitly promised us. None of us felt like adults. And it’s something that I’ve still rarely heard acknowledged, but that I find to be almost frighteningly true: No one ever tells you that you’re never going to feel grown-up.

Proto Lena Dunham Lena Dunham-y, amirite? Basically, if you find hipster-y lifestyle blogs and Girls entertaining and painfully relatable I think you’ll dig this book. (And the last essay reads a bit like Frances Ha.) Just don’t go into it expecting a narrative because all you’re gonna get are some general quarter-life crises musings.

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I enjoyed this book best while munching on self-made trail mix and drinking a berry smoothie. My favorite of the essays was the bounty boys.

P.S. Check out this piece Strawberry wrote for The New York Times in 2004 after Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter Apple. Those fruit-named gals have to stick together, I suppose.

9 insights from Jacob Tomsky’s memoir “Heads in Beds”

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I am no stranger to hotel rooms. All through middle school, high school and college I participated in competitive speech and debate (and then for 3 more years I stuck around to coach it). This meant most weekends I was packing up panty hose, pajamas and pearls, hopping in a plane or a bus or a van and checking into a hotel for 2-5 day tournaments in  cities not my own. Which is why when I heard a segment on NPR about Jacob Tomsky’s book “Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles and So-Called Hospitality” it went straight on my reading list. Did front-desk clerks really sell keys to rooms in shady “under the table” deals like a certain unnamed DOF was so sure of? How dirty ARE those sheets and were we right to check for bed bugs upon arrival? Why in Jesus’ name did those key cards stop working at the most inopportune moment?!? While Tomsky’s book covers accommodations on the more luxury end, it is certainly eye opening and titillatingly honest for any reader who has been met with the question, “Checking in?’

I thought I would share some insights from his tale. Here are nine!

On free snacks- Check into your room and empty the mini-bar into your suitcase, smoke a cigarette in the room and then call down to the front desk complaining of a strong smell of smoke. You will be switched to a new room and there will be no way of tracing those purchases to you.

On the powers of furniture polish Housekeeping frequently uses furniture polish on the mirrors to get a streak-free look. Where else does this tactic come in handy? The water glasses. Ever notice there isn’t any dish soap on a housekeeper’s cart? Yet, she is responsible for cleaning those glasses at the end of your stay.

On the oldest profession “Like milk and cereal: whores and hotels.”

On polite ways to decline help from a bellman “I can go up alone, but thanks anyways.” “No thank you, but I appreciate it.” “I think I would rather just go up alone, if that’s okay.”

On bellmen’s love of bricks (aka $100 bills) The bottom right corner of the new $100 bill features a color-shifting 100 that is slightly raised. This can be used by bellmen to convince unsuspecting desk clerks that a one-hundred dollar bill has such POWER that they can pick one out of a line up even when blind-folded…or you could use it as a neat parlour trick.

On the AAA Diamond ranking There are certain amenities a hotel must boast in order to receive the elusive fifth diamond, including; pool, full spa, TVs larger than a specified minimum in each room and long dead bolts on doors.

On booking online Booking your stay through a third party website pretty much guarantees you the worst room possible. But…

On how to get the best room regardless “Just hand over a twenty at check-in and say, Give me something nice.””

On the bottom line As a guest, politeness is key and money talks. Be kind to staff, tip who you can and who knows? You may come back to your room to discover a complimentary bottle of vino or stumble your way into a suite upgrade. Have a great stay!

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Do you stay in hotels a lot? I don’t really anymore but for a good chunk of time there it felt like I lived in them. Have you read this book? Would you? I highly recommend it!

In Defense of Beach Reads

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I love to read and I love to learn and I love devouring dense non-fiction books about language and anthropology and history and psychology in my free time. But there is something to be said about a good ol’ fashioned guilty pleasure book. Just cracking the cover of a just-for-fun, literary jaunt is pure bliss. Summer is definitely my favorite season to get totally lost in stories that I know won’t be particularly edifying or enlightening–but it’s READING damnit so it’s still super good for the brain! This holdover from when Summer’s were a break from homework and English class reading lists still holds up…even though, in the working world, I now fill my Amazon wishlist based on actual wishes and not syllabi. Something about the long stretches of daylight, the road trips, the reclining on patio furniture…

To kick off this season of guilty pleasure reading I tore through “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” and I’m about to wrap up “Mockingjay”. Apparently, serialized fiction that has been adapted to film is what I’m feelin’ this summer. Other go-to genres for my Summer months include: Young Adult fiction, romantic comedies set in Ireland, Historical Fiction that maaaaybe borders a bit on Erotica (sex scenes are FINE if they’re historically accurate, you guys), and true crime. What type of books go in your beach bag and carry-on items? What would you bring on a road trip across the country?

 

Looking for a summer-read recommendation? Here are a few of my past favorites:

 

Looking for Alaska by John Green

coming of age story. boarding school. first love. first loss.

 

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

memoir. colorful characters. unconventional upbringing. on the road.

 

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

female friendship. nineteenth century China. foot binding. Nu Shu (secret women’s writing).

 

Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

comedic autobiography. based on one-woman stage show. princess leia. addiction recovery.

 

The Paris Wife by Paula McClain

historical literary fiction. hemingway and hadley. woman behind the man. lost generation.

 

The 19th Wife by David Ebershoff

historical polygamy. modern polygamy. POLYGAMY. NEED I SAY MORE???

 

I hope everyone is having a fantastic Summer so far and Happy Reading! Do you have any great reads you think are deserving of a spot on my list after I finish out this Hunger Games trilogy? I’d love some recommendations!

Reading nostalgia.

Littlewomen

 

Did your parents read “chapter books” aloud to you when you were little? My mom would pick my sister and I up from school and drive our mini-van over to wait a half hour or so for my brother’s school to let out. In those little time slots, which could have been filled with whines of boredom, we were transported by way of Little Women, Little House on the Prairie, Pippi Longstocking, Heidi, Five Little Peppers and various Maria Von Trapp biographies to lands far away from parking lots on Price Road in Lexington, KY. Lands where little girls can live in houses dug out of a hill, lift horses clear over their head and play the piano beautifully–even when dying of scarlet fever. How lucky we were to have such stories float through our brains and imaginations as we climbed into the backseat to sneakily tug on ballet leotards. How lucky to hear stories of strong, intelligent, resilient and kind women and girls–real OR imagined.

 

What books were you lucky enough to hear as a young pup? What stories invoke your reading nostalgia? Do you feel they shaped who you are today? Or at least what you enjoy reading?
(Book cover photo via here.)

Book Club: In Pursuit of WHY it Gets Better Pt. 3

Happy Friday, Delight seekers!  I hope you all have had a fantastic week.  My sister, Beth, asked me to step in this month for the extended reading portion of her virtual book club!  As a self-professed expert and undercover anthropologist of the adolescent and teenage psyche, I jumped at the offer to put my knowledge to good use.

 Why undercover, you ask?  Well, it’s not difficult to see that I can slip into the world of teenagers very easily.  I look young. Just last weekend I was asked if I would prefer a child’s menu at a restaurant.  In one month I will begin playing a role which is a whopping 10 years my junior. I get carded every time I try to go to an R-rated movie.  Therefore, it is incredibly easy for me to slip into the pubescent mind set and see firsthand the effects it could have on an individual.  I can’t even count the number of times I got the up and down look from high school girls at the mall while shopping for an Easter dress just yesterday afternoon! Being a 23 year old woman, it didn’t affect me (“Honey, in 8 years you’ll want to wear an old man sweater, too,” my mind said with a hearty chuckle…), but imagine if I had been the 16 year old that they believed they were judging!  It could tear a girl down!  I am using this research and my own experiences to write a musical about a girl’s battle to find her true self.  And we all know that I am utterly obsessed with coming of age stories.  I believe they are one of the great human connections that bring us together as a species, because every one of us has gone through the trying time that is adolescence. Therefore, reading this book has been a (wait for it…) DELIGHT, and I would be honored to share with you some extended reading to further enhance your experience and knowledge.  Let us journey together through the cafeteria fringe…

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 Let’s start with some further reading about the book and Robbins’ Quirk Theory from around the web:

An interview with Robbins on Live Science, an educational website targeted at students.

A review on the book by New York Times reviewer and Journalism professor, Jessica Bruder.

And of course, NPR has nothing but good things to say!

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Now on to my literary bread and butter…coming of age stories that highlight personal discovery and becoming comfortable with who you truly are:

 Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

 An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

 The Virgin Suicides by Jeffery Eugenides

 The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

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Not feeling like cracking the spine of a novel?  That’s ok too:

Non-fiction:

Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman – The book that launched a thousand gifs by inspiring the CLASSIC movie, Mean Girls.  Forever one of my favorite works of cinematic genius.  Thank you, Tina Fey.

Poetry:

The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan – I read this collection of poems while I was performing Spring Awakening every night…talk about getting me in the right state of mind!  Angst!  Heartbreak! Drama!

 Plays:

Spring’s Awakening by Frank Wedekind – I could write a 30 page paper about…oh wait. I did that my senior year of high school.  Just read it and then listen to the cast recording of Spring Awakening the musical and let your inner 14 year old laugh and cry along. Because it really is just the bitch of living.

 The Metal Children by Adam Rapp

 Speech and Debate by Stephen Karam

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 And finally, Alexandra Robbins has many more books for you to read, because life actually does go on after high school!  I know which one I’m checking out of the library next:

 Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities

 The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids

 Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in your Twenties

 Secrets of the Tomb: Skull and Bones, the Ivy League, and the Hidden Paths of Power

Happy reading, and CONGRATULATIONS!  If you’re reading this, I am proud of you.  Why?  Because you got through the trying time that is adolescence. It was probably really hard.  It probably changed how you acted and how you viewed yourself.  You probably lost friends. You probably felt some really intense and angsty things, and probably acted on them.  But you made it, and you became an incredible, ever changing human being.

-KT

Thanks so much, Katie! Wanna get involved in the Finding delight. book club? Email me: ebeth.berger@gmail.com. Let’s talk books! ❤ And tune in next week for my final review. 

Book Club: In Pursuit of WHY it Gets Better Pt. 2

This month in the Finding delight. virtual book club we’re traveling back to the world of cliques and cafeterias with the help of Alexandra Robbins’ journalistic prowess in The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School. This week, I’ve found some extended watching–in the way of interviews, movies and other internet gems–to help us nail down the answer to our over-arching questions: Why do things get better once you’ve taken off that high school cap and gown? How did our own differences suddenly elevate our social experience when before they felt so demoralizing? Check out the videos and review the questions raised throughout this post…remember, we’re traveling back to high school here so there may or may not be a test. ; )

More with Alexandra Robbins

An interview with the author herself in which she discusses why cliques are so prevalent, how schools help instead of hinder the teenage social hierarchy and what parents can do to dissuade their kids from feeling like social outcasts…

What would you tell a high schooler today if they confessed they feel flawed for not fitting into the social in-crowd? 

Robbins delivers a quick PSA on why “You’ve got to be proud to be an outsider.” She rattles off a laundry list of now famous individuals who identified with the outsider label as children or young adults. Now that I’m far enough into “Geeks” to feel like I really know the youth Robbins follows for a year, I have begun to recognize the qualities in their teenage selves that really COULD set them apart as adults. In this video, Robbins talks about Taylor Swift being ostracized in middle school for her intense love of country music. Similarly, the outsiders have qualities which will no doubt put them ahead of the pack in terms of employment, relationships and all sorts of social standing metrics.

Being different makes you awesome and some day people are gonna appreciate you for who you really are.” 

What qualities do you exhibit which exemplify Robbins’ “quirk theory”? Can you think of more examples of individuals who went from outsider to success story?

And just for fun, here is Alexandra Robbins on The Colbert Report discussing another book she wrote about high schoolers–The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids.

How do you think this quest for academic success/college acceptance as end goal affects social inclusion/exclusion? 

Cinematic Renderings of the High School Experience

My top 5 favorite “High School Movies”:

1. Ferris Bueller’s Day off

2. 10 Things I Hate About You

3. The Breakfast Club

4. Mean Girls

5. crazy/beautiful

 

And if you have a lot of time on your hands just watch all of Friday Night Lights!

What do these films get right about the high school experience? What do they get wrong? What’s your favorite movie about high school? Is there a movie that shaped your own teenage experience simply because it was about teens and you watched it WHILE you were a teen? #meta 

Remembering the Past/Help the Future

In the end, this book strikes a cord with so many because we’ve all been there. While it may be easier to come out the other side and benefit from “quirk theory,” I’d like to challenge you to peek back through that tunnel at the person you were. Have an old VHS tape of a choir competition? Watch it. Did you keep a journal full of poetry and essays? Read it. Look through old photo albums, class assignments, defunct for a decade Livejournals. This little trip down Nostalgia Boulevard could hold valuable information for how you interact with struggling teenagers in the future. It’s easy to put the past behind us and just say “Yeah, high school sucks but it gets better.” But a more concrete answer can be a lot more enlightening. After my own excavation of high school artifacts I’ve found this example: Yes, it was crazy weird that I felt the need to deliver a rather dramatic monologue for a talent show Fall semester of my freshman year of high school. Considering all the popular kids treated speaking in public like a joke and were more focused on sports than spotlights, this was in-crowd suicide. Yet, fast forward four years and speaking in public would get me into college and earn me all kinds of resume boosting awards. Fast forward four more and things like job interviews and work-place negotiations feel like no big deal. With the clarity of over a decade’s removal from that example I can see the difference between me and the in-crowd, in that instance, was bravery.

And now that we’ve isolated some of the things which made us unique in high school and thought of concrete examples for “quirk theory” in our own lives, the final extended watching I would like you to do is….real life, current high schoolers. Go support some kids. As I’ve said before, the school system is doing everything it can to support exclusion by putting certain kids, groups and extracurriculars on a pedestal. Let’s strive to counteract this trend by building up the kids who are different in similar ways to our high school selves. Judge a speech tournament. Go to a play. Buy a piece of art. Donate to a gaming club. Speak at schools about your job. Coach something. Volunteer. Talk to kids about their interests. Cheer for the marching band. Got more ideas? Leave ’em below! I think we can all commit to doing one of these things this month. : ) Let’s do it! 

If you could write a letter to your high school self what would it say? If you could sit down with one group of kids and READ them your letter to yourself who would they be?

 Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us – in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case…a princess…and a criminal…Does that answer your question? 

~The Breakfast Club~ 

 

Book Club: In Pursuit of WHY it Gets Better Pt. 1

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When Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better Project” came out in 2010, a series of YouTube videos directed at teenagers who were the victims of homophobic bullying, something didn’t feel right to me. Here were a bunch of stories by people who had, yes, admittedly made it through to the other side, telling our youth a common tale–painstaking childhood, turning point, and a happily ever after. What struck me as unsettling was how un-nuanced this narrative arc was…surely there was more to the story than happenstance. Did we think that little of the children watching that we could only tell them things WOULD get better but not HOW to make them better? Yet, there seems to be a common truth for all those who’ve made it through the hallowed halls of secondary education–gay, straight, or otherwise–perhaps not entirely unscathed but made it through nonetheless; it IS better on the other side. So perhaps the question isn’t “How does this happen?” but “Why?” Why do the teens who didn’t have a spot at the cool cafeteria table end up as success stories in adulthood?

In this month’s book club we are going to attempt to uncover the answer to just that. Perhaps in analyzing why the losers, geeks, and outcasts in American teen culture gain access to a more promising future, we can finally solidify the “how” in our own stories and thereby paint a more holistic picture for our struggling youths than “it just will.” To do this, we will be reading “The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory, and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School” by Alexandra Robbins. No stranger to writing great non-fiction about the youth of America, Robbins notes in “Geeks” that she kept encountering kids who felt like there was something catastrophically wrong with them because they weren’t popular or they were bullied. In my experience as an educator of middle/high school students at various forensics institutes over the years, I have answered these same worries in ways probably not uncommon to those of you who have found yourselves in a role-model situation. “There’s nothing wrong with you. High school is crazy. The stuff that makes you unique now is gonna make you popular later!” and “The popular people are probably miserable too.”

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Robbins takes a more academic approach to her answer and presents “The Quirk Theory,” explaining that the passions, idiosyncrasies, interests and all the stuff that makes one considered weird as a kid are the very quirks that will turn them into cool, interesting, and successful adults. And it’s true–as adults we reward passion; children, for whatever reason, tear it down. As my peers and I settle in comfortably on “the other side,” all it takes is a quick voyeuristic scan on social media to see endless examples of this theory in practice. Oh you can build a computer in your spare time? Awesome! I bet you’re making a shit ton of money. You’re working for an NGO in Botswana? Killer! Your stories are probably super interesting. You just crocheted a whole blanket? WHUT?! The patience! The creativity! Sell that shit on Etsy, dawg! The computer geek. The dirty hippie. The shy girl who sat by herself at lunch. In a matter of years these labels become completely reframed.

Robbins’ book follows 7 high school students labeled as, “the loner, the popular bitch, the nerd, the new girl, the gamer, the weird girl, and the band geek.” Following each student for a school year, you begin to recognize these people. Maybe you see yourself or someone you knew. Peppered in between these narratives are essays on popularity, how schools make the social scene more intense and the psychology of exclusion; all of which seek to help answer our underlying question–why did everything we hated about ourselves in high school, all the things that made us different and therefore BAD, suddenly turn us into the best versions of ourselves? How in Jesus’ name did we grow-up and suddenly get cool?

In a world where we’re spending tons of money on anti-bullying campaigns and initiatives, as I begin this book, the glaring systemic problem seems to be something we’ve yet to address. By promoting certain activities over others, the school systems are basically telling kids who should be bullied and who should do the bullying. As adults, I think we can do better. This discrepancy obviously hits close to home. I was a speech dork in high school–competing for a team who split their time 50/50 between practice and fundraising. We rehearsed on the same loop upstairs that the cross-country team ran on;  as we spoke to walls, snickering runners continuously lapped us in a never-ending stampede. Would our popularity trajectories have looked differently if the school was buying US new suits instead of the swim team? Who’s to say?

In an attempt to get to the bottom of all of this, why not join in the book club fun? A book club, you ask? FUN?!? That would soooo not have been cool in high school! So celebrate your adult-self and all the nerdiness you’re now allowed. Pick up a copy of “The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory, and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School” by Alexandra Robbins and let’s get weird.

(Top image via here.)

Any initial thoughts? Do you feel like you had a label in high school? What weird things about your high school self do you find gains you positive attention as an adult? What would you tell a student who is struggling with their outcast status today? Feel free to leave your answers in the comments below! And tune in each Friday!