All posts by Beth Berger

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About Beth Berger

Hi there! Finding Delight is a lifestyle and lifelong learning blog written and curated by me in Alabama. Along the way, I attempt to tackle the rough real world with books, budget-livin', brainpower and all the beautiful stuff you can find when you really look. Won't you join me? The true delight is in the finding out.

mid-week round-up

Hi babes! What’s going on this week? We’re experiencing a rare cold front in Miami so a big pot of chili and a movie marathon are in order. I’ve also been burning my favorite Fall candle, drinking Fall-themed coffee every morning, and I’m planning on making this pumpkin custard. Embracing all things Autumn, even though I’m in tropical Miami, has been a nice antidote to feeling sad about the lack of seasons! Hope you’re enjoying Fall, too, and here are some articles and posts I found interesting this past week…

Miami Beach Commission votes unanimously to free Lolita — but it’s not happening yet.

Related: Me, My Husband, and the Killer Whale

A year of love and struggle in a new high school.

Sorting through all the laughs Joan Rivers left behind.

Adding this to my “memoir month” reading list.

She brought down Uber’s C.E.O. What’s next?

“I got 99 problems…palsy is just one.”

CNN uncovers what could be a trafficking scheme:  “The ‘orphan’ I adopted from Uganda already had a family.”

A basketball team perfectly in sync.

How to set financial goals (you can actually reach!).

Potato scraps and seasonings, rolled and deep friend, just never get old.

Elevate your influence through Instagram, YouTube, blogs, and beyond with this new course.

Related: Don’t Hide Your Hustle: Latasha

Don’t forget to continue applying SPF in the Fall months!

P.S. Two Finding Delight posts you may have missed — My Top 10 Skin Care Staples and Let’s Talk Personality (Tests).

5 Favorite Films to Watch in the Fall

You guys! We’re getting a cold front in Miami!!! It’s supposed to be dreary and rainy all day today, and tomorrow — the lows are in the 50’s. What?? Perfect weather to curl up on the couch for a movie marathon! If you’re expecting similar conditions, here are 5 films I highly recommend for watching in the Fall…

Beetlejuice 

What’s a Yuppie ghost couple to do when their quaint New England home is overrun by trendy New Yorkers? Hire a freelance “bio-exorcist” to spook the intruders, of course.  

The animated series was my all-time favorite Saturday morning cartoon, so Beetlejuice will always have a special place in my heart. With such an amazing cast and groovy Harry Belafonte soundtrack tunes, this flick isn’t just seasonally appropriate, it’s a really fun watch. A perfect addition to a more light-hearted spooky, movie marathon.

 

So I Married an Axe Murderer

Comedy sensation Mike Myers stars with Nancy Travis in this hatchet-driven romantic comedy about a wed-lock shy coffee house poet who finally meets the perfect woman. Maybe.

The perfect romantic-comedy for Halloween season because of the axe murderer twist, this movie is prime 90’s humor and prime Myers (like pre- a million Austin Powers sequels). If you’re not so into big scares, So I Married an Axe Murderer still stays on theme without being too frightening.

 

The Silence of the Lambs

When FBI Agent Clarice Starling is assigned a case involving a monstrous serial killer, she seeks counsel from an imprisoned cannibalistic psychiatrist, whose fascination with the woman is as great as his hunger for murder.

This film is truly terrifying and one of the best scary movies out there, in my opinion. I adore Jodie Foster and think her acting, along with Anthony Hopkins’ (of course!), is well-worth adding The Silence of the Lambs to the rewatch list every Autumn. Turn the lights out, pour yourself some Chianti, and enjoy!

 

Garden State

 Andrew Largeman returns home to New Jersey after nine long years. Now, as he tries to re-connect with his past, a series of chance encounters with Sam, sets the stage for what his  future might hold. 

If you, like me, were in highschool/college in the early 2000’s, you’ve probably seen this movie a thousand times. But I still think it holds up as a good Fall feature. I’m not sure why it screams Fall to me. Maybe the rainy, screaming into the quarry scene? Or the cozy vibe it (and it’s soundtrack) invokes.

 

The Breakfast Club

An iconic portrait of the 1980’s American high school life. When Saturday detention started, they were simply the Jock, the Princess, the Brain, the Criminal and the Basket Case, but by that afternoon they had become closer than any of them could have imagined. 

Honestly this is just one of my all-time favorite movies and I could watch it (and quote it) at any time of year. However, because Fall is back-to-school season, I think it works thematically as well. Plus, if you’re looking for a group Halloween costume? Hello!!! Perfect inspiration.

 

What are a few of YOUR favorite films to watch in the Fall? Leave your movie marathon recommendations below. 

P.S. 6 True-Crime Documentaries For Your Inner Detective

On Believing and Being Believed

A few weeks ago, I posted a story in my mid-week round-up. It’s the first story in Carmen Maria Machado’s book Her Body and Other Parties, and it’s called The Husband Stitch. The story is Machado’s adaptation of the “the girl with the green ribbon,” a spooky story you may be familiar with (and still terrified by) thanks to Alvin Schwartz’s In a Dark, Dark Room.

Have you read it yet? You should.

(I’ll wait.)

Now you should go read Jane Dykema’s essay, “What I Don’t Tell My Students About ‘The Husband Stitch'” found HERE. Dykema explores the ways in which Machado’s story brings up questions about who we believe and why.

From the essay:

“Of all the stories I know about mothers, this is the most real,” Machado’s narrator begins, and goes on to tell a story of a mother and daughter traveling to Paris. The mother falls ill and the doctor sends the daughter to get medicine, a task which takes so long, a meandering cab ride, the doctor’s wife making pills out of powder, that when the daughter returns to the hotel she finds her mother gone, the walls of their room a different color, a hotel clerk who doesn’t remember them. Then the narrator says there are many endings to this story, one in which the daughter persists, stakes out the hotel and starts an affair with a laundryman in order to finally discover the truth: that her mother died from a highly contagious disease and in order to prevent widespread panic, the doctor, cab driver, his wife, and the hotel employees conspired to erase any trace of the mother and daughter’s existence there. Another ending to the story is that the daughter lives the rest of her life believing she’s crazy, “that she invented her mother and her life with her mother in her own diseased mind. The daughter stumbles from hotel to hotel, confused and grieving, though for whom she cannot say.” I would tell you the moral, the narrator says, but I think you already know.

We are taught to value simple, elegant truths. In science, philosophy, theology, and politics, we apply Occam’s razor, the idea that between competing hypotheses, the simplest one is the right one. That the daughter is crazy is a much simpler explanation than that a whole cast of characters conspired to hide her mother’s death and erase their existence, simpler than the introduction of a contagious disease, simpler than the construction and remodeling done to the room. And yet —

Dykema notes that when teaching the story, a woman will confess she cried while reading it and when asked why, she’ll reply she doesn’t know. I didn’t cry when I read The Husband Stitch, but I did when reading Dykema’s essay. Why? Because right now, we urgently need discussions about believing and being believed. Her words resonated and I hope you’ll read them…and then start a discussion of your own.

In class, I don’t say to my students, “Do you feel it, too? Or can you imagine it? The perils of living in a world made by a different gender? The justified and unjustified mistrust? The near-constant experience of being disbelieved, of learning to question your own sanity? How much more it hurts to be let down by ‘one of the good ones?’”

Instead, Dykema discusses the narrative tools her students can apply to their own writing. But outside the writing classroom — I’m ready to start asking.

Have you read a short story or article lately which sparked an important conversation? Would love to hear! 

(Image above is an illustration by Dirk Zimmer from In a Dark, Dark Room, a book which still haunts me to this day.)

5 Ways to Incorporate Mantras in Your Daily Life

When we think about mantras it’s easy to imagine a pretzel-legged yogi, chanting in near-coma calm, a look of transcendence on their face. Maybe there’s a Tibetan singing bowl involved, maybe the lights are dimmed.

But what about those of us who need the power of positive thought so we don’t slam into a pedestrian in a fit of road rage on our commute? The folks who want to harness their affirmations so they nail an interview, not transcendence?

I think mantras have a place in OUR mouths, too!

Remember: A mantra has the power to drown out excess noise – like negative thoughts about traffic and bad interview results – to help you quell the accompanying emotions – such as rage and fear.

Often, the situations in which we experience the most excess noise are the very times we can’t commit to a 30-minute meditation practice. But we can still turn to a mantra to guide us through.

Here are a few ways to incorporate mantras in your daily life…

1. As you prepare for your day. Laying in bed after your alarm sounds is a great time to set an intention for your day. Then, you can repeat the intention throughout your morning routine to infuse the mantra in every step of your preparations, setting yourself up for greatness! As you brush your teeth, blow-dry your hair, prepare your coffee pot, and pull on your shoes–repeat your mantra. Try: Today, I will choose happiness. 

2. During your work out. Whether you’re rolling out your mat or lacing up your sneakers, there’s definitely an opportunity to infuse a little mindfulness in your fitness plan. Mantras can be a great motivator (even Nike uses “Just do it!”) but they can also serve as an opportunity to give thanks for the strength and power your body holds. Try: If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.

3. In quiet moments of solitude. Sometimes your mind needs a quick reset in the midst of a hectic day. When you stumble into a second of peace – kids finally napping, you’re alone in your office for the first time all day, or hey! a bathroom stall (I’m not judging!) – use the time to focus your thoughts in a way that will serve you. Try: Taking a long, hard look in the mirror reminds me of who’s boss. 

4. When negative thoughts creep in. We all have our negative thought triggers. Whether yours comes from road rage and interview stress like the examples above or perhaps as a result of fear of public speaking, a toxic relationship holding you back, or just reading the news each day, mantras are a powerful solution. Instead of trying to silence these thoughts (impossible!), use new thoughts in order to transcend them. Try: I am filled with positive actions.

5. Before you fall asleep. After a long day it’s nice to reflect on what you’re grateful for. Instead of the thought spiral that can lead to sleeplessness, identify those things which truly served you in positive ways today. Did you know the happiest people do this daily? Jump on board! Try: I am thankful for [fill in the blank!].

Will you try these out? How do YOU incorporate mantras in your daily life? 


In this multi-week series, #MantraMania, I’m going to lay the ground work for you to make mantras a part of your life. Here’s what you can expect from the series:

  1. Do you use mantras?
  2. How to Incorporate Mantras in Your Daily Life
  3. Revealed: People Share Favorite Mantras
  4. A 30 Day Mantra Challenge to Welcome Positivity, Productivity, and Self-Care (+ FREE activity guide)

My Birthday Book & Movie Haul

In case you can’t tell by the title of this post, I recently had a birthday! Just last week, in fact. I was blessed with some amazing gifts (like this beautiful bar cart from Chet and a huge box of Gilmore Girls themed coffee from my mom!).

But my favorite way to treat MYSELF for my birthday is to pick up whatever book(s) and movie(s) I feel like! Usually I’ll talk myself out of book and movie purchases because of a little thing called the library and another little thing called Netflix. On my birthday though? Well – I deserve it! 🙂

Here’s what I picked up:

Movies

Stephen King’s IT

Who doesn’t love watching a scary movie (or three or four) in October? I still really want to see the new version but I mean c’mon! So many famous faces in this one. Including, but not limited to, John-Boy from The Waltons sporting a rad early 90’s ponytail.

The Edge of Seventeen

This movie looked reminiscent of two of my favorite coming-of-age flicks – Cheaters and Juno…and the back cover likens it to a modern day The Breakfast Club (another fave!) – so I was all in. Plus, I love Woody Harrelson!

Books

You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends On Facebook, Why Your Memory is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You’re Deluding Yourself by David McRaney

Since I left the world of speech & debate, and no longer sit through tons of informative speeches every weekend, my annual dose of pop psychology has drastically diminished. This looked like an interesting and fun way to rectify the situation. I’m excited to dig in!

Blindness by Jose Saramago

Saramago was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1998 so this book seemed like a good bet. 😉 The subject matter, a city hit by an epidemic of “white blindness,” reminded me a little bit of Station Eleven. Not to mention it won a ton of awards and received rave reviews! So, although it’s not a book I would normally gravitate to, I couldn’t resist.

Which of these interests you most? Have you bought any books or movies for yourself lately? I’d love to hear!

mid-week round-up

Hello friends! What’s going on this week? With everyone’s talk of “sweater weather” and cooler temperatures, I’m feeling a bit like I have the opposite of Seasonal Affective Disorder. We’ll call it OMG WHY HAS IT BEEN HOT FOR SO MANY MONTHS??? Syndrome. Maybe some activities to mark the passing seasons would be helpful?? I already put up some Autumn/Halloween decorations but what else could be fun? Any ideas?? I’m all ears! Also, the comments on this post make me excited to continue sharing about mantras in the coming weeks. ‘Til then, here are some links…

Fleeing the fires in Sonoma County.

In the poorest towns, where even Wal-Mart failed, Dollar General is turning a profit.

A run-down of the best emergency preparedness supplies.

On my reading list.

My charitable donation for October went to Center for Reproductive Rights.

U.S. officials inadvertently included a Bloomberg reporter on an internal email list about Hurricane Maria.

The Halloween costume everyone was wearing the year you were born.

And I just ordered some Christmas decorations because it’s never too early.

Have you heard of the new online grocery store where everything costs $3?

Residents of Barbuda return to pick up the pieces after hurricane.

15 things to do when you’re bored at work.

What’s next on your reading list? Find out how long it will take to read.

P.S. A few Finding Delight posts you may have missed — Too Many Books, Never Enough Time and Desk Drawer Must-Haves.

I have an idea…

When you see one of those flashing speed limit signs that tells you how fast you’re driving, even if you’re only going a notch over the ridiculously low speed limit, you slow down, right? You take your foot off the pedal. Start to coast for a few seconds until you’re a safe distance away. In fact, these signs are ridiculously effective.

Studies repeatedly show that when alerted by a radar sign, speeders WILL slow down up to 80% of the time. Typical average speed reductions are 10-20%, and overall compliance with the posted speed limit will increase by 30-60%.

Which got me thinking…could we harness the power of the radar speed sign for other applications? And then, *lightbulb* You see, try as I might to be mindful of my posture as I work at my desk. I fail. A lot. But what if I got a reminder to straighten my spine and not sit like a Notre Dame resident as I power through a project?

What if I saw a photo flash across my screen of someone displaying bad posture? And what if these photos kept coming in the form of intermittent pop-ups any time my desktop was on? Would my back grow taller? Shoulders loop? If the efficacy of those speed limit signs are any indication…my money’s on YES.

If this is already a thing please let me know! If not, I’m ready for it to become a thing. Alright Monday… LET’S DO THIS! (with as straight a spine as possible.)

Do you have any tips or tricks for better posture during computer work? I’m all ears. And if you take this idea and make a million dollars off of it, you’re welcome! 

(Photo via here.)

Do you use mantras?

Do you use mantras? I find them wildly helpful for setting intentions, practicing mindfulness, and chilling the eff out. Haha! In fact, I named this very blog to honor one of my favorite mantras of all time. FIND DELIGHT.

As you go about the tasks of your day, your mind is constantly popping in with new thoughts and ideas. And there are emotions that go along with these brain intruders. Sometimes a thought will bring up self-doubt, an idea will instill fear. A mantra has the power to drown out the excess noise, and to quell the accompanying emotions, by repeating something neutral or even empowering!

So why does it work?

“Put simply, it’s because it employs the thinking mind instead of trying to ignore it, silence it or subdue it. It uses thoughts to transcend thoughts, which is an extremely skillful method.” 

As I mentioned before, FIND DELIGHT, is one of my faves but I’ve used many others to help me focus my thoughts in a direction of my choosing. If you’ve never given mantras a try, I encourage you to do so! Over the next few weeks I’ll be posting more about mantras so check back if this sorta thing tickles your fancy or you’d like to learn more. Until then choose a chant that suits ya…

I AM STRONG.
I AM ABUNDANT.
I AM CONFIDENT.
I AM HAPPY.
I AM ALL I NEED.

BE BRAVE.
FIND DELIGHT.


In this multi-week series, #MantraMania, I’m going to lay the ground work for you to make mantras a part of your life. Here’s what you can expect from the series:

  1. Do you use mantras?
  2. How to Incorporate Mantras in Your Daily Life
  3. Revealed: People Share Favorite Mantras
  4. A 30 Day Mantra Challenge to Welcome Positivity, Productivity, and Self-Care (+ FREE activity guide)

mid-week round-up

Hi friends! What are you up to this week? Tomorrow is my birthday!!! No grand plans, just planning on a relaxing day. Last week we ventured up to Savannah for a few days and had a blast hanging out with my brother and sister-in-law! (We ate here and here, strolled around and saw wild animals here, and roasted marshmallows(!) here.) Hope you have a wonderful rest of your week, and here are some links for your reading pleasure…

A tale of two Puerto Ricos: What Trump saw and what he didn’t.

A grandmother, the Nazis, and the shadow of the Olympics.

Multiple women share harrowing accounts of sexual assault and harassment by Harvey Weinstein.

Kristin Enmark didn’t act the way a hostage was supposed to act – and a new psychological disorder was born.

How an English teacher’s quest to meet John Lennon changed Beatles history.

Can I buy these warm-up booties even though I’m just a living room ballerina???

The making of a male midwife.

The Coexist logo is famous on bumper stickers and around the world — but it’s also at the center of quite a few battles.

Katharine Hepburn’s brownies: a recipe for home-wrecking?

Perfect desk accouterments for a home office.

Carmen Maria Machado’s  take on the woman with the green ribbon around her neck.

Related: Now I want to read her book.

The Florida migrant town that FEMA forgot.

P.S. 2 Finding Delight blog posts you might have missed — Our Florida Stay-Cation and What books would you paint on a staircase? 

50 Ways To Save Money (With Minimal Effort)

Some of my most popular blog posts on Finding Delight are all about How To Ball On A BudgetAnd why not? Everyone would love a little help in this department. Which is why sharing ways I personally save money (with minimal effort) is something I’m happy to do!

As the holiday season approaches, saving that extra bit of cash for all the costs that go along with the time of year becomes a necessity. Presents and parties and vacations…OH MY!

With the impending holiday expenses in mind, I put together a few of my favorite money saving ideas. Pick and choose a few of these simple lifestyle changes to implement and you’ll be well on your way to a nice little monetary stockpile. However you choose to spend (EGGNOG FOR EVERYONE!)…well, that’s up to you!

 

Shopping

Check second-hand stores first.
If that doesn’t pan out, hit the clearance racks.
Check the weekly circulars for the best deals.
Shop your pantry before shopping the store.
Make a weekly grocery list and stick to it.
Shop the periphery of the grocery store.
Don’t be afraid of the generic brand.
Sign up for rewards programs and do your homework about the benefits.
Buy seasonal items during their off-season.

Food

Pack your meals for work and school.
Always have a water bottle on hand for free hydration.
Brew your coffee at home and learn to make your indulgent Starbucks order.
Buy from the bulk bins so you’re not paying extra for packaging.
Batch cook big meals in your crock-pot.
Get into the habit of meal planning.
Find a cookbook you love and cook your way through it.

Appearance

Give yourself at-home manicures.
Color/straighten/curl your own hair. Or let it go natural.
Create a fitness plan that doesn’t involve a gym or costly classes.
Set up a seasonal capsule wardrobe.
Make your own beauty products.

Travel

Stay at an Airbnb.
Stock your kitchen-away-from-home so you can prepare meals instead of eating out.
Give yourself a daily allowance (in cash) while you’re away so you don’t go overboard.
Bring along all your lingering gift cards to treat yo’self.

Entertainment

Bust your boredom. 
Cancel cable and pick a streaming service instead.
Cancel print subscriptions and subscribe to a few email newsletters instead.
Make a list of cheap date night ideas you think sound fun and cycle through.
Host a game night for your friends.
Get your books from the library.
Go out for brunch or coffee or happy hour cocktails instead of dinner.
Start an articles club.

DIY

Consider making gifts instead of buying.
Dollar Tree is a great place to pick up cheap craft supplies.
Learn to mix your favorite cocktails.
Create your own cleaning products.
Check for tutorials online before paying someone else to do your home improvement projects.

Utilities

Call your cell phone/internet/utility provider and ask for a cheaper rate.
Turn off the lights when you leave the house (or the room for that matter).
Don’t go crazy with your thermostat.
Carpool with your colleagues.
Make payments on time.

Savings

Kick it old school with a penny bank for your loose change.
Automate your payments and savings plan where possible.
Keep a spending diary.
Read budget blogs for free financial information and resources.
Challenge yourself to a no-spend day once a week or a no-spend weekend once a month.
Look through your bank statement for any recurring costs and consider canceling whatever they’re attached to.
Research any discounts you may be afforded through your work/school/memberships.

What lifestyle changes have YOU implemented to save money? Let me know in the comments below! xoxo