All posts by Beth Berger

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About Beth Berger

Hi there! Finding Delight is a lifestyle and lifelong learning blog written and curated by me in Alabama. Along the way, I attempt to tackle the rough real world with books, budget-livin', brainpower and all the beautiful stuff you can find when you really look. Won't you join me? The true delight is in the finding out.

What Did You Do With Your Wedding Photos?

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what did you do with your wedding photos?

Chet and I got married a shocking seven (!) months ago. My, my how time flies! I posted about a bajillion Facebook albums when we first got our photo files. We also made books with some of our favorite snaps for family members. But now I’d like to finally tackle something for ourselves.

So, I’d love to know, what did you do with your wedding photos? Did you curate a collection of the best and make a book? (Websites like Artifact Uprising and Pinhole Press have stellar reviews!) Did you make a massive album to stow on your coffee table? Print stacks and stacks for a shoe-box labelled “WEDDING”?

And what about for displaying on your walls? We have a three-photo picture frame in our hallway that displays 3 of my faves. Do you have larger prints hanging on your walls somewhere? Tell me everything!

I’ll be honest, part of me wants to completely shirk the idea of a printed-on-the-page photo book in favor of placing each individual photo in an album like this one. Is that crazy!? I love how beautiful the wedding books are with their lovely spreads and high-quality paper. But I’m also the kid who would haul the photo albums up from her grandparents’ basement every chance she got. The pages crinkled in that plastic-y way, the bindings creaked. The weight of all those photos and memories rested heavy across my thighs.

Wouldn’t it be kind of cool to tie the physical representation of one of the most important days of my life to all those other albums–filled with births and birthdays, family vacations and Christmas mornings?

Anyways, I am nothing if not the MOST indecisive person on the face of the planet, so PLEASE–tell me what you did with your wedding photos in the comments below! 

P.S. What’s that? You’d like to SEE my wedding photos!? You’re in luck…
The Bridal Luncheon
The Rehearsal Picnic
The Venue
The Details
Getting Ready
Bride + Groom
The Ceremony
Family + Wedding Party
The Food
The Reception
Note:  We are lucky beyond belief to have so many beautiful images from our wedding weekend thanks to Sur La Lune Photography. Even if they weren’t our BFFs I’d be obsessed with their work. Have a look for yourself! 

mid-week round-up

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closeup on flowers

What are you up to this week? My very favorite guilty pleasure, MTV’s The Challenge, started up again with a new season! I don’t have cable but I’m super stoked to watch it online today. I’m probably the last person in the world of my advanced age who still watches this show. (BUT I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE!) This weekend we have plans to check out a new brunch spot and maybe take the drone out for a flight. Hope you have a great day, and here’s some reading material…

I’ll be making these chocolate crescent rolls as soon as humanly possible. (Although I may cheat and use this.)

A checklist for staying in vs. going out on Valentine’s Day.

Would you wear navy pants with tiny dinosaurs on them?

A young Wikipedia editor withstood a decade of online abuse. Now she’s fighting back. “When people get forced off the web, their voices disappear from the internet’s public squares. The ideas and memes that dominate skew even further toward a white male perspective. The web becomes less interesting, less representative, less valuable. We all lose.“

A shortage of incubators and a hunch about marsupials inspired a Colombian doctor to try something radical to save premature babies’ lives.

Mysteriously, a large number of Americans believe that the inventor of the cotton gin, Eli Whitney, was black. (Could this be an example of the Mandela effect?)

Mystery of deadly outbreaks in India is solved.

The real Bowling Green Massacre wasn’t even in Kentucky.

I can’t get over how cute these classroom valentines are. Which would you choose?

Modern Etiquette: Handling difficult conversations online.

What is Steve Bannon reading?
“Mr. Bannon was carrying a book, and when an incoming president’s guru is reading a book, you should find out what it is. I walked by and peeked. It was “The Best and the Brightest,” David Halberstam’s 1972 history of the strategic errors and human foibles that birthed the disastrous American involvement in the Vietnam War. It begins with John F. Kennedy’s transition to the White House, in December 1960. Now I really knew it was him.”

How to avoid being psychologically destroyed by your newsfeed.

P.S. A few Finding Delight posts you may have missed — 6 Ways to Find More Free Time and Reading Nostalgia.

6 True-Crime Documentaries For Your Inner Detective

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Over the last month or so I’ve been on a bit of a true-crime documentary binge. I just can’t get enough! There’s something about the unanswered questions, colorful cast of characters, and inevitable courtroom drama that captivates my little “Law & Order” lovin’ heart. So, I decided to round-up a few of my recent faves in case you’re feeling a similar urge.

If you binge watched The Jinx or Making a Murderer in a matter of days or waited anxiously for the release of each new episode of Serial, may I suggest giving one of these bad boys a try…

The Fear of 13

After more than 20 years on death row, a convicted murderer petitions the court for his long awaited execution. But as he tells his story, it becomes clear that nothing is quite what it seems.

Amanda Knox

Follow the trial, conviction and acquittal of Amanda Knox for the murder of a fellow exchange student in Italy.

Who Took Johnny

An investigation of a cold case tries to determine what became of Iowa paperboy Johnny Gosch, who disappeared 30 years earlier.

There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane

The accident made national headlines: a suburban mother drove the wrong way on the Taconic Parkway in upstate New York and crashed head-on into an SUV, killing herself and seven others.  But was she the monster the public made her out to be?

Beware the Slenderman

The mythos of a faceless, digital-age bogeyman known as Slenderman was created on the Internet, but his influence was felt in the real world when two 12-year-old girls lured their friend into the woods for a brutal murder.

Paradise Lost Trilogy

Note: The previous five are all fairly new but Paradise Lost is more of a classic. If you’ve never seen the full trilogy, I definitely recommend watching all three. They’re pretty incredible and the filmmakers paved the way for this sort of storytelling. (Buy the DVD’s HERE.)

The landmark documentary that sparked an international movement to ‘Free the West Memphis Three’, PARADISE LOST investigates the gruesome 1993 murder of three eight-year-old boys and the three teenagers accused of killing them as part of a Satanic ritual. REVELATIONS delves deeply into the shocking aftermath of the trials, updating the story seven years after the murders. PURGATORY picks up the story and reexamines the horrifying crime with fresh insights that only the passage of time can provide.

Which would YOU watch? Oh, and what’s your favorite documentary of all time? I’d love to know!

P.S. Turning to True-Crime Books to Curb the Serial Withdrawals. Binge-Worthy TV Shows. 

January Resolutions – How Did I Do?

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Happy February, Finding Delight readers! This year, I decided to approach my New Year’s resolutions a little bit differently. I wrote out all the months in my  journal and have filled in things I want to work on in 2017– 2 items per month. Not every item is filled in yet. I want to give myself space to grow over the year, to not set my resolutions in stone.

My hope is that, once something is set into practice for a month, I’ll continue the habit throughout the year.

I’d like to share results and thoughts at the end of each month because accountability. Here’s how I did in January…

January Resolution #1. Notice when I’m partaking in unproductive screen time and pick up a book instead. 

Have you ever set an intention to minimize time spent in front of screens? ME TOO. And guess what…that sort of vague resolution has never worked for me. How much is “too much” screen time? What if the time spent in front of the screen is bringing me joy or earning me money? I need something that gets a bit more to the root of the habit I’m trying to change.

For me, that’s tapping in to when I know I’m being unproductive on the computer. It’s noticing when I’m scrolling mindlessly through my social media feeds on my phone. And then offering myself a solution–pick up a book.

So how did this new take on an old resolution work out? Not bad. But not as well as I’d hoped.

I found a great “red flag” for unproductive screen time. It’s a little embarrassing but I’ll share it with you in case it might be helpful:

When I visit websites or apps in a rotation. (*cringes*)

If I’m checking my phone and I look at my email…and then Instagram…and then Facebook…and then Snapchat…and then find my way BACK TO MY EMAIL. OH MY GOD, PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE BERGER AND PICK UP A BOOK.

That’s a habit I took great strides in eradicating in January. However, around the 20th of the month (hint, hint) my screen time started to ramp up again. But that might not be such a bad thing. And it hasn’t all been unproductive.

Going forward: I’ll continue to monitor my social media // website loops. I’ll keep a book close by. I’ll take mental health breaks away from my devices when the news becomes to much.

January Resolution #2. Yoga every day. Take the day off if my body needs it but not when my mind tries to talk me out of it. 

I’m low-key obsessed with Yoga With Adriene and her January challenges are always a great excuse to start the year off on the right foot.

I’m also someone who sticks to exercise when I make it a daily habit. If I planned to work-out 3 times a week that shit would never happen. 30 minutes of yoga (nearly) ever single day on the other hand? That I can do.

Sure, I sometimes try to talk myself out of this practice. Especially when I’m feeling grumpy or lazy or “not in the mood.” But here’s the thing. I never feel WORSE after I do it. I usually feel better. So, this month, I didn’t let my mind talk me out of working out.

I did, however, allow myself space to sit days out if my muscles were too sore or if I’d had a crazy, long day of work. I also didn’t force myself to practice yoga if my body wanted another workout. (Um, hello!? Sometimes ya gotta do this one.)

When I did show up for a quick flow? I felt like I was showing up for myself. My body nourished, my mind calmed.

All in all, I rolled out my mat and practiced 30+ minutes of yoga 25 times in January.

Going forward: I’ll continue to show up for myself on the mat. I’ll take note of when my mind is trying to cheat me from gettin’ something good. I’ll incorporate other types of exercise (or other yoga instructors) into the rotation.

Alright friends, onward to February!

How are YOUR New Year’s Resolutions going? One month down! Tell me how you’re doing in the comments below (#accountability) or feel free to email me – ebeth.berger@gmail.com – if you’d like to keep it private. You got this! 

P.S. Need help sticking to your 2017 goals? Check out this post. Oh, and “Like” the Finding Delight Facebook page! I’d love to have ya!

mid-week round-up

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Editor’s Note: Today, Finding Delight is thrilled to welcome Adam to our weekly round-up for the second time. (Here’s his first visit to the Mid-Week Round-Up.) I hope his post and links resonate as much with you as they did with me. 

adam-midweek-roundup

Over the weekend I was cyberbullied. It wasn’t the standard “you’re a liberal snowflake asshole” attack you might expect. It was more vicious this time and quickly escalated from some guy making veiled homophobic comments to likes and retweets of an emerging chorus of “queer” and “glory hole sucker” posts aimed directly at me. A couple of the attack tweeters lifted my profile picture and began using it in their posts. Clicking onto their profiles, I saw them having separate conversations about me, using my picture and saying things like I was a “disgusting queer” and “probably have AIDS.”

Full disclosure: I’ve written a few loud and arguably ignorant comments on some crazy-pants Facebook posts. I usually give social media attacks directed at me a pass, thinking “I, too, have posted things that 20 minutes later made me shameful.”

This time though, after resisting the desire to fight back and simply reporting them, I tried to go on with my day. But hours later, I had to keep checking on the tightness in my chest.

I wondered how women and female journalists continue to endure this on a daily basis. 

The attack made me think back to one of my 2017 New Year’s resolutions: Get off social media. Why didn’t I stick with it? Why am I even on here? 

Perhaps I’ve just accepted that virtual bullying comes with the territory? In truth, it’s easy for me to accept that reality; I’ve lived most my life knowing there’s a strong likelihood that a passing stranger will call me a fag. 

So many people face vicious onslaughts of degradation simply by being present in both virtual and real-world spaces. Social media and internet links, so often, seem to be a product used to push shame; an evolving technology dedicated to tearing people down in ways that transcend virtual space with real life implications.

But looking over stories about the Muslim travel ban protests at airports all over the country, I realized the reason I’m still here—present in the shit hole that is social media—because it’s the links… Our links to one another are important. 

It was the Instagram post from a friend that helped me stop feeling bad about the bullying I faced. The hate is not normal—and I do not have to tolerate it. 

Seeing this tweet of a nun jamming at the airport protest in San Francisco made me laugh. Hard. The link was important. The Stanger Things’ SAG award acceptance and Wynona Ryder’s face made me take in the fact that America is already great.

I am benefiting from the resistance and the “personalized act[s] of labor dedicated to communal protest,” which are so often being transmitted through links—nudging me to recognize that now is not the right time to leave social media. 

The link-driven resistance is not a bunch of “liberal lawyers,” as the New York Times might argue. It’s about sharing stories to bend the arch of justice toward a shared sense of ethical humanity.

I will continue to actively link with the resistance by writing personal op-eds and showing up at town halls.

I will continue finding Finding Delight’s Wednesday links post through social media. It’s important to be connected these days. 

So, for the sake of theme and the goal of promoting a shared sanity in these harsh times, here are some other, more specific hyperlinks that you might also find helpful:

Anyway, with that, I hope you “like” this Wednesday’s links post. And I hope you “like” other peoples’ links too—it’s critical for us to lift up and recognize individuals and institutions when they’re focused on promoting truth.

adam-midweek-roundup-2

 

3 Ways to Pack Your Tom Bihn Synapse 19

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As you may have guessed from previous posts (like this one and this one), I’m low-key obsessed with my Tom Bihn backpack. I could regale you for hours with info about all it’s features. It is just so. dang. packable. But the proof, as they say, is in the pudding…

So, instead of telling you about all the versatile pockets and roomy compartments, I’m gonna walk you through a few of my favorite ways to pack the Tom Bihn Synapse 19.

how-to-pack-tom-bihn-synapse-19

The Pockets:

1. Main Compartment

2. Shallow Center Pocket

3. Deep Center Pocket 

4. Left Pocket

5. Right Pocket

6. Bottom Compartment

For 1-Bag Air Travel:

1. You’ll be amazed at how many clothes will fit in the Tom Bihn Synapse 19 with the help of a packing cube (or two). The double-sided packing cubes are genius if you want to keep your clothes organized (think: tops on one side / bottoms on the other OR day clothes on one side / loungewear on the other) or separate dirty and clean.

Your laptop or tablet will fit comfortably in this compartment as well.

2. This is the perfect space for all the small bits you may need readily available while up in the air. Tuck in your earbuds, your favorite lip balm, and a snack.

3. Slide your toiletry bag down in this front pocket and you’ll have no qualms about pulling it out when you go through TSA. This one from Tom Bihn has clear sides and was designed as a 3-1-1 toiletries bag for air travel. There’s plenty of room inside for all your essentials.

4. This side pocket has a space for your writing implements so you might want to tuck in a little notebook as well. It’s also a great place to stow a small flashlight, your sunglasses, and a collapsible bag.

5. Think of this as your electronics pocket! There’s plenty of room for a camera and there’s an additional pocket along the lining that’s perfectly sized for a phone. Clip a clear organizer pouch to the O-ring inside and fill it with your various chargers. No need to frantically search for cables that have made their way to the bottom of your bag!

6. Finally, the bottom compartment will hold a pair of sandals or flat shoes, a pashmina to keep you cozy when the plane gets cold, and a collapsible poncho if you’re headed to a rainy climate.

For Working On-the-Go:

1. As this is the largest compartment, this is where your bulkiest items will go. If you’re working on-the-go this probably means your laptop as well as any notebooks, folders, and books you may need.

2. Slip in a pair of earbuds that will cancel out any annoying noises you may encounter. You could also keep a stockpile of business cards tucked in a fancy holder.

3. Amazingly enough, this pocket was designed by the folks at Tom Bihn as the perfect place to hold a water bottle. This is great for keeping weight distribution even and totally cuts down on spills. You could go with a classic or class it up.

4. Store your pens, memory cards, and a wireless mouse in this convenient side pocket.

5. The other side is perfect for all your chargers. Again – one of the clear organizer pouches would be perfect for corralling them all. And don’t forget to throw in a snack bar or two! It’s hard to work when  you’re hungry!

6. Finally, the bottom compartment is a convenient location for your wallet. And it’s wide enough that it will accommodate a billfold style design. Don’t need that much space for your wallet? This is a great place to store an umbrella, as well!

For Having Outdoor Adventures:

1. Whether you’re hiking, biking, or just urban exploring; you’ll want to have a few essentials in your Tom Bihn Synapse 19! The main compartment is a great place to store an extra layer of clothing, in case it gets cold, and any equipment you may need to bring along. (Think: camera or video gear, tools, DRONES!)

2. Safety first! Don’t forget to bring a small first aid kit. Buy one or make your own out of an Altoid can. Making your own allows you to really customize the contents for your particular adventure.

3. Again, the Deep Center Pocket is the perfect place for your water bottle. Toss in a bandana, too. They have SO MANY uses. (Here are 25.)

4. This is a great place to keep sunscreen and bug spray close at hand. You might also want to toss in a multi-tool or your eating utensils. Spork? Chopsticks? 3-piece cutlery? Your choice.

5. If you’re venturing away from civilization, it may behoove you to reserve this pocket for “I can pee anywhere!” materials. Think: tissues, wet-wipes, anti-bac, etc. Of course, these could come in handy for other purposes, too!

6. Finally, pack a lunch! This bottom compartment will ensure your sandwich won’t get squished amidst all your other equipment and it’s spacious enough to accommodate an adventurer’s appetite! The menu, of course, is up to you.

Where would you take your Tom Bihn backpack? Do you have a favorite travel accessory you recommend to anyone who will listen? Tell me about it below! 

P.S. A Tom Bihn-accompanied trip — Festivals Acadiens in Lafayette, LA

Book Review: The Newlyweds by Nell Freudenberger

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the-newlywedsIn light of the recent immigration ban, reading stories of those who have navigated across cultures to a new life in the United States seems even more important. Even when those stories appear in the novel you turn to when you need a break from the world.

Stories, like the one found in The Newlyweds by Nell Freudenberger, humanize the immigrant experience. The book follows Amina Mazid who leaves her home in Bangladesh for a new life in New York. While her story is not one of religious persecution or civil war, she is in search of happiness. A different happiness than what she can find in Bangladesh. The same happiness so many are seeking when they step onto American soil. But like the immigrants before (and after) her, Amina must carve out a space for herself amidst her American reality and the other happiness she knew before. A home she can never forget.

Amina Mazid is twenty-four when she moves from Bangladesh to Rochester, New York, for love. A hundred years ago, Amina would have been called a mail-order bride. But this is the twenty-first century: she is wooed by—and woos—George Stillman online.
 
For Amina, George offers a chance for a new life for her and her parents, as well as a different kind of happiness than she might find back home. For George, Amina is a woman who doesn’t play games. But each of them is hiding something: someone from the past they thought they could leave behind. It is only when Amina returns to Bangladesh that she and George find out if their secrets will tear them apart, or if they can build a future together.

At it’s core, this book is a rather nuanced portrait of a young woman’s transition from one culture to another. This theme reminded me of another great book, The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. And I think fan’s of Lahiri’s work will also find value in picking up a copy of The Newlyweds.

Freudenberger shows an immense depth of knowledge about Bangladesh, it’s culture, and Islam. The acknowledgements section of the book makes it clear that she did her research by way of extensive interviews and immersive travel to the country itself. (Even more amazing? This research, and the subsequent novel, was inspired by a Bangladeshi woman Freudenberger met on a plane! #talktostrangers)

However, there is a note of inauthenticity to the story, most notably the character of Amina herself. Freudenberger explains the duality that I’m sure many immigrants experience…

“[Amina] had thought that she’d been born with a soul whose thoughts were in no particular dialect, and she’d imagined that, when she married, her husband would be able to recognize this deep part of herself. Of course she hadn’t counted on her husband being a foreigner…In a way, George had created her American self, and so it made sense that it was the only one he would see.”

And perhaps it is this duality, which Freudenberger explains but hasn’t experienced, that makes Amina’s character lack just an inkling of depth. Because, at the end of the day, Amina’s husband George didn’t create her American self, the author did.

The story itself is captivating and full of suspense. It is an entertaining depiction of the effects of honesty (or lack thereof) on relationships and navigating cross-cultural experiences. Check it out! 

Have you read The Newlyweds? Would you? Let me know below!

P.S. Books to read if you love the Commonwealth and a book I could NOT put down.

15 Actionable Items That Make Me Happy

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The other evening, inspired by a Facebook community I subscribe to, I made a list of things that make me happy. Here’s what I came up with…

  1. Bringing home a large library haul.
  2. Listening to honest-to-goodness, turn-the-knob-to-find-the-station radio.
  3. Going to the beach on a weekday with Chet.
  4. Spending an evening inside with candles lit, blankets piled high, and a really cozy pair of pj pants.
  5. Getting brunch with friends the morning after a big event (think: conference, wedding, work party) to rehash all the happenings from the day/night before.
  6. Late afternoon walks with a good podcast.
  7. Claiming a table outside at a restaurant/bar with a group of friends and proceeding to laugh the night away.
  8. One on one conversations over coffee.
  9. Eating food after a long day swimming at the beach or hiking in the mountains.
  10. 30 minutes of juicy stretching (read: yoga) after a really long and stressful day.
  11. Watching true crime documentaries, obscure reality shows, and suspenseful TV.
  12. Obsessing over a certain topic until I’ve read every longform article, non-fiction book, and thought-provoking essay on the matter that I can get my hands on.
  13. Traveling by train.
  14. Solving problems when the stakes feel high.
  15. Receiving something exciting or unexpected in my mailbox.

I’d love to know, WHAT’S ON YOUR LIST? It may seem simple, but identifying what makes you happy is a wonderful first step to doing those things more! And Lord, do I feel like we need to do more happy-making things right about now.

These Videos Are Guaranteed To Make You Smile

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Have you seen the “Kids Try” series on YouTube? Created by Cut, a channel that specializes in creating viral video content (see also: Grandmas Smoking Weed for the First Time), these videos never fail to make me smile. How freaking adorable are these kids?

Though I do find it a little unsettling how suspicious they are of foods they’re unaccustomed to, (Do American kids just eat pre-packaged, Trader Joe’s freezer meals these days or what?) I love the moments when they just go for it and dive in. Watch for yourself…

Maddox is obvi my favorite (#spiritchild) and if I could adopt him I totally would. Though it seems he already has some awesome parents…here they are explaining the birds and the bees to him! (“There’s a hole down there like an igloo.”)

P.S. Other YouTube videos you might enjoy — The Greatest Exercise Video Ever, Costume Makeup Masterpieces, and Miniature Food Videos.

mid-week round-up

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What’s new with y’all on this lovely Wednesday evening? Personally, I’m pretty excited that my dinner is cooking away in a crock-pot (#setit #forgetit) and that there are old seasons of Hell’s Kitchen on Hulu. If you’re in the mood, here are some links for you to EXPLORE!

Obamacare repeal threatens health benefit to Black Lung survivors.

So you want to be an ally? Check out Safety Pin Box.

Audiences of the final Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus shows are being treated to this quintessential circus song (which has been missing from the bands repertoire for years).

Related: 50 circus animals need new homes! 

This lamp would make a cool, dramatic statement in a living room. I love the marble base!

Who killed Julian Pierce?

Quiz: What’s your email patronus?

Texas has highest maternal mortality rate in developed world.

Abducted at birth and found 18 years later.

The scam that fooled Arthur Conan Doyle.

How a grad student found spyware that could control anybody’s iPhone from anywhere in the world.

Alternatives to Resting Bitch Face.

Now this is an idea I FULLY endorse!

P.S. A few posts from yours truly — A Book Wish-List and Strike a (Power) Pose!